Why isn't my brother talking (and he hits too)

[yeawutever]

It's not the physical punishment that is meant to teach you things, it's the message that it reinforces. "You treat your parents with respect, for this, this and that" reinforced with a spanking. I got it all when i was younger, belt, wooden spoon, spanking on the bottom, the worst was getting slapped on the face though.

 

Sure and once extinction takes place and you know you can push the lever without getting shocked then you're left at nothing. Kinda when I used to talked back as a 12 year-old or in my early teens and dad would threatened a spanking but never got delivered (I still would at times talked back to him too). Anyways even if it did, I think at that point it would have been already too late, kinda like a case lost b/c the reinforcement would simply not be enough for a teen, wouldn't work the way it would for a child under 10. Certain punishment just have to be age appropriate.

[yeawutever]

I personally think it's because parents don't physically punish their children.

 

My brother rebels till the end so no it really has nothing to do with getting physically punish. Even so, he still has an attitude.

 

Ok let's say you are dealing with a kid like my brother with a speech delay problem called Apraxia. You physically punished him but he still manages to rebel/act out, kick, scream and hardly ever changes.

What is next?

[Mythical_Suicide]

My brother rebels till the end so no it really has nothing to do with getting physically punish. Even so, he still has an attitude.

 

Ok let's say you are dealing with a kid like my brother with a speech delay problem called Apraxia. You physically punished him but he still manages to rebel/act out, kick, scream and hardly ever changes.

What is next?

 

He needs to be seen by a therapist and ways need to be develop to help him control his problems and to help you and everyone deal with them

[yeawutever]

He needs to be seen by a therapist and ways need to be develop to help him control his problems and to help you and everyone deal with them

 

True he does and I would do that if it was my kid. I wonder why wouldn't he ever act out at school. Over there he was a docile and obediant kid with no complains for teachers besides not talking.

[Mythical_Suicide]

True he does and I would do that if it was my kid. I wonder why wouldn't he ever act out at school. Over there he was a docile and obediant kid with no complains for teachers besides not talking.

 

 

Most kids are like that, my son will act out so badly at home but when we're out around others or he stays with someone else where i'm not around he is a perfect little angel and everyone always wonders why I say he acts up all the time. It's just the way kids are.

[miss_confused99]

These are my thoughts...

 

Your brother might not act out at school because it's not a "safe" environment for it. If he does it at home and knows that he can get away with it or only be minorly punished, he will continue to act out at home until the problem is addressed. And he may start acting out at school when he becomes frustrated enough. Acting out usually gets worse if it's not addressed properly.

 

If your brother has a speech delay, he probably feels frustrated at his inability to communicate effectively. He WANTS to talk. He WANTS people to understand him. He just can't make it happen. That is very frustrating. And children don't know how to deal with that. That could be the reason he is acting out. He needs someone to calmly take him aside when he acts out and look him in the eye and tell him that it's not appropriate to hit/scream/kick and then SHOW him a way to better deal with what he's feeling. There are therapists and family counselors who can help with this process.

[yeawutever]

Thanx miss_confused99, those are exactly my thoughts. He does want to talk but it frustrates him when hardly anything but sounds and those few words he knows comes out. I guess if he was my kid, then things would be different. I would have already taken him to therapy by the time he was 2 years old, not when he's older (dad didn't wanted to unfortunately while mom did).

[winchester3]

Ok let's say you are dealing with a kid like my brother with a speech delay problem called Apraxia. You physically punished him but he still manages to rebel/act out, kick, scream and hardly ever changes.

What is next?

 

The speech delay just takes time to overcome? Or is he stuck with that for life? As for the acting out I'd manipulate/lie. Not to the point where he doesn't trust me but white lies. Something like "If you hit your parents or siblings your hands will fall off". Scare him into believing you, make this "fear of your hands falling off" his enemy. So that you both have a common thing to hate/rebel against. Be his friend and work with him to overcome the issue of your hands falling off if you hit your siblings/parents.

 

When my little brother gets in those "I hate you" moods i just tell him I'm going to run away and never come back. That he can have all my things, sleep in my bed, and make him feel guilty that I'm leaving. He usually cries, runs to someone else for support and his bad mood promptly ends. To help my mom tells him thats it's true "so you better be nicer to your brother". (I'm not leaving or going anywhere)

[i_am_me]

i don't know much about it, but does this not sound like autism to anyone?

 

This is exactly what I was going to guess. It definitely sounds like autism to me.

[yeawutever]

This is exactly what I was going to guess. It definitely sounds like autism to me.

 

Nope, come to think of it, it's more like spoilness to me. He seems to know how to act with certain personm thus he's being selective. Otherwise he would have done the same with everyone and everywhere, that doesn't seem to happened.

 

Turns out at age 4, I was almost like this and no I'm don't have austism otherwise I wouldn't even be posting here.

 

I wonder if mislabeling happens, as a small toddler they say something I wasn't even an aunt would think I was a freak (freak herself).