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My Mom has an incurable tendency to remain depressed.


memorieshurt
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Help,

 

What do I do to change my moms tendency to remain depressed?

Actually I am not sure whether it is depression. But I feel depressed by seeing the sad expression on her face. My heart becomes heavy and I am unable to do any constructive work.

What do I do? Why do I feel the way I do? I have done all I can to dislodge my moms depression. Nothing seems to have worked. What else can I do? I have limited time to give to my mom. I need to work and I need to study, how do I manage it all? My dad does not live with us and my mom does not keep good terms with my dad, my dad on his part does not do anything to solve the situation. How do I solve the situation, my life and my career is at stake, please help.

 

I guess I am the one who needs a good break, I am getting tired and becoming unproductive in my work every passing day. What do you all say?

 

a dispondent soul

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hey there memorieshurt

speaking of study, i should be at the moment, but i read your message and i could help myself. my mother aswell suffers from depression from time to time.....quite understandably i think, because she puts up with so much, and im sure your mother does as well.

 

this is not unusual behaviour, your mother has obviously been through alot, especially with your father. i understand you have your own priorities, as do i, but sometimes even the smallest things make HUGE differences. make sure mums in the picture, and is FIRST. i know life is on your back, and you cant just stop, but start small. first things first, tell her how much she means to you...........and all this may mean is a simple "i love you mum", doesnt have to fit into convosation, just pop it in anywhere. she will appreciate it.

 

earlier tonight actually, my mum was going through her sad phase........and it also makes me incrediably sad. its not much, but i offered to help her with the washing up, and while i was doing that i tried to make some happy chit chat. little things, to help put her mind off things. your mums probably down about her situation, and if you just make things a little happier for her, by letting her know how great her cooking is, or how nice she looks, it all helps!

 

this, i know, can affect your life aswell, but you have to stay strong. after all its all just a BIG bump in the road. nothing you cant drive over! stick with it. i find making someone else smile, even if just for a moment, and you can see they had forgotten why they were sad in the first place, it might make you feel a little better about yourself. give it a try, nothing to lose!

 

just try and not think "how can i solve this!? all on my own!". dont worry, no ones leaving it all up to you. your mum will find her feet. just give her a little push. if she becomes continuously unhappy, perhaps try and get her to see some help. someone to talk to. she might just be lonely.

 

im not exacally certain how to solve this. i get this aswell as you know. it passes, but comes back every now and then........funnily enough at the most inconvenient times in your own life, but thats just like life aint it! all i can say is try doing the small things, but dont loose touch with yourself.

 

goodluck to you, hope it all works out alright. look after mum yeah! (woah long post! i should be studying!?!)

 

*+*Materia_Goddess*+*

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You might want to take your mom to a doctor. If her depression is a chronic as you are saying she may need some medication and counseling in order to make it better. For some people, depression isn't just a phase they can pull themselves out of. Its a real medical illness that requires treatment to get better.

 

I'd recommend you make an appointment and go together to see what they say.

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Your mom needs to move forward somehow, either in her career or her love life. If mom and dad are separated and not yet divorsed, she should try and get her life back on track. Talking to others can help, she probably needs counseling and familial support. If dad is just a jerk, then maybe you could approach him yourself, and see if he can do anything to push her in the right direction.

 

Here is what your mom needs to be happy: a well intentioned pass time, something that she does that creates happiness for others and for herself; she needs a healthy diet including exercise and vitamins for menopausal women.

 

Maybe the holidays coming are making her think of a parent that died or something else has happened that makes her feel helpless. How do people in general treat her, is she accepted by others?

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I tried everything that materia_goddess has mentioned. Dosent help. I dont what to take her to any doctor or give her medicines. She just does not like such things. I am thinking of taking her for a vacation sometime. In fact she will be visiting some relatives after a few days. I dont know how much this will help. But I hope it does for some time at least. The idea of making her maintian a hobby can be tried.

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