watupgangsta Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 basically i hooked up with this girl a couple months ago over thanksgiving break. one time, nothing serious. we know each other well through mutual friends and we had been flirting a lot for a couple weeks beforehand. then, something got weird (lack of communication i guess) and we ended up mutually agreeing we should be friends. well at the time i was cool with it. but she and i still talk online a good amount and i see her on breaks (we're in college) when we're both out with friends, and i realized i still wanted to hook up with her. anyway we were talking online and the conversation led to us talking about her girlfriends. i admitted that i didn't like some of them very much, and she wound up asking me if i liked her or if she annoyed me too. i was a little surprised by this because i figured that she knew i liked her to some extent or else i wouldn't be talking to her onlineo on almost a daily basis. anyway i ended up telling her i didn't know what i thought because i really didn't see her as a friend, because i was still attracted to her. did i make a mistake? Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 I don't think you made a mistake. At least you balanced out the complement by saying: i didn't know what i thought because i really didn't see her as a friend, because i was still attracted to her. That way you didn't sound too over the top/come on too strong. All you said was you where attracted to her. How did she react? What did she say? And who knows, if next time you both meet in person, see how she acts around you. Does she avoid or talk more to you? Is she looking at you more, etc? Maybe she is also attracted to you. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 come clean with her Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 she said shes fine with me being attracted to her, that its not like we're never gonna hook up again, and who knows what could happen. i told her i didn't like that because i don't want to be friends with someone who feels like she has some kind of power over me, and that i wasn't going to let that happen. she said shes not like that. i ended up telling her that if she wanted to do pursue anything with me, she'd have to tell me cuz i wasn't going to mention it again. then i told her i was going out, and ended the conversation. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 i like your style.....make them chase you Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 haha i wish that were the case. but i told her im still attracted to her and she didn't come out and reciprocate. so basically i think i was just cutting my losses by just telling her its on her to make a move. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 haha i wish that were the case. but i told her im still attracted to her and she didn't come out and reciprocate. so basically i think i was just cutting my losses by just telling her its on her to make a move. and so often that is what happens....no one makes the moves Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Yea if a guy told me that I would feel pressured. I think maybe you should have made the move yourself if you got a chance to be alone with her. Or maybe asked her out directly and seen what she said. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 if she didn't have any feelings for you at all she wouldn't have asked you this question. i bet she is wondering why you aren't going to ask her out. it sounds like you guys agreed to just be friends cause you were both a bit timid as to what to do. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 drink a couple shots of courage and ask her out Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 oh i forgot to mention, when i told her i was still attracted to her, she said she was shocked/confused because she thought and heard that i wasn't interested. as for putting the pressure on her, i understand that it may not have been smart, but my mindset is that since we have already hooked up and we already talk a good amount, she should be able to tell me if she is attracted to me or that she is interested too before i say lets go out. if she doesn't even want to tell me that, then im fine with not pursuing anything with her. however, i know im still going to see her around. thats why its easy to say lets be friends, but i honestly don't want to be. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 my approach to one night stands are to move on, that being the definition of such. I f you talk everyday then something must be there....go for it Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 i don't consider this a one night stand as he still talks to her and they have mutual friends and what not. Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 yeah it really wasn't because we flirted a lot for a while before hand and we both knew it was coming (so did our friends) it just got kinda weird because i don't think either one of us knew where it was headed and neither one of us took the initiative of asking to define it. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 i saw this on an episode of Friends Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 do you guys think that i should say anything else to her or just let it be how i left it. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 no, don't do anything else. you told her something. now she needs to analyze how she feels about it. don't feed her anything else to digest. if anything, it's a loss. see if she calls you up or something. Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 alright thats what i was thinking too. good stuff man. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 if you want something, i hope it works out. if you are just barely feelin it, no worries. oh well huh? Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 yeah well right now im sort of hoping that she says something, but i have a feeling she won't cuz she's pretty submissive. i'm not gonna lose sleep over it. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Well. You did something really "unsubmissive". If she likes you back she isn't gonna just "lay down" and let you get away. You can't be doing ALL the work right? Gotta see some interest on her part before you continue showing her interest. Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 lol i guess it was unsubmissive. i just figured its better for me to tell her what i was thinking than to keep it in my head. im letting her do what she wants with it. i don't really want to play a game of cat and mouse with her. i ended up calling her today to invite her to play poker with some friends... she didn't answer, she texted me back saying she was at was at work. i responded by just telling her why i called, and she texted me back saying i should let her know when i was playing again, and that was that. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 I agree with you. Sometimes it's time to just stop playing the whole cat mouse game.. Besides, you guys know each other some time already. No harm done. Balls in her court. Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 ok, she hasn't said anything. she has IMed me a few more times now, just asking me what i'm up to and things like that... should i stop responding? i already told her i don't see her as a friend. i don't to be put in that boat. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Respond to her occasionally. JUst be less available for her to IM you. At least she didn't stop IM'ing so that's an ok sign. Link to comment
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