What to do about a ex on a bad path???

[jlc]

I had a long term relationship that lasted about 4 years...We started dating when she was 15 and I was almost 19.We broke up right before her 19th birthday...The main reason for the break up was the fact she wanted to experience life without any tie downs or parents to control her actions and see if she could make it on her own...Which I totally understand....I had got to experience that before we started dating but because of her young age she had not....About two months before the break up we ended moving about 150 miles away from family and friends to a bigger town...Well after the break up we both had to keep living in the same apartment for financial reasons which is were we are at now....My feelings have faded for the most part and I see her as a close friend...but since the break up she has taken a drastic change in her life....mostly it comes down to drinking, drugs and sex..... and she is considering the fact of quiting school...I have seen this before with to many people that because they have total freedom they go to a all extreme...and since I still have some unresolved feelings for and hate to see her have regrets about this in the future....What do I say to help her understand what she is doing could lead this way???? Without starting a fight.....I don't want to control her life or tell her what to do but maybe make her relize what she is doing(I don't even no if it's of my business anymore).....of course the young age has something to do about and I guess maybe I was lucky from the stand point that from the time I was 19 until now and 23 I had a steady relationship that kept me out of trouble and I would not have seen that at 19 but at 23 I do....Any advice???

[MollyElise]

I would let her go on about her business. If you try to intervene you will be just a pest. She may be acting a little wild, but remember she is the girl that you love, and she will very likely pull her crap together, if not, theirs nothing you could do anyway. Good Luck!

[avman]

Let her be. I know you want to help her and hate to see her go down this path, but it is unlikely she will listen to you. You mentioned the main reason for the break up was that she wanted to experience life without anyone to answer to and thats exactly what she is doing.

 

Let her know you are there for her, but I suspect she will need to learn life's hard lessons for herself.

[surfdog]

Help her!...those other posts saying to let her be are full of shit! Do the right thing and get her to change her ways before she gets too deep into this stuff...That is what love is all about let alone being a good person who cares about someone.