Need a girls advice - She just broke up with her BF.

[martinbishop]

There is this girl at work that I like a lot and when I first met her we flirted a lot and than I found out she had a BF. We continued to be friends and went out for lunch and stuff, had dinner together once, and when I asked her out to dinner again she said she couldn't because apparently the BF didn't like what was going on at all. Which who can blame him. So I said I understood and continued to talk to her every now and then, but we didn't see each other outside of work.

I hadn't heard from her for like a week and I knew she had a big test coming up so on Saturday I called her and said I hoped the test

9on friday) went well and that I'd love to hear from her.

Well Sunday night she called me and had a horrible day and we talked for a few hours. She told me yesterday (Monday) that she and her BF had also broken up.

We are supposed to go out next Monday. But I'm not sure where her mind is - I like her a lot and I want her to know that but I want to be respectful of the fact that this breakup just happened. But I don't want her to think that I just want to be friends, while I would love being her friend I don't want to end up in the "just friends catagory" I want her to know how I feel - how long do I wait? other thoughts?

 

Thanks.

[Ugottabejokin]

Doesn't sound like she broke up with BF for you...so don't assume you're a lock. However...she prob needs some male re-assurance right now, so the rebound route is prob available..if you want it.

 

If you want more then "friends"...or even.."friends w/benifits"..then you have to give her space.

 

Talk to her...no pressure...let her know that your there, just like you always were, to go hang some time. And let her call...or suggest it at work.

 

AND DON"T TALK NON-STOP ABOUT THE EX!!

 

Good luck.

[martinbishop]

Hey,

 

I in no way think I'm a lock. And I'd really not like anything that happens between the two of us to be a rebound, or a friends with benefits thing (friends with benefits always hurts someone eventually)

The break up definitely didn't occur because of me - he broke up with her because of some shit hes going through right now and will prbably move far away sometime very soon.

 

I like the no pressure advice - no pressure is the best course for any action.

 

tell me more about the let her call thing. I certainly want to me no pressure and I honestly do want her to be happy and I want to be there for her no matter how this turns out.

 

 

And I don't talk about the EX at all - when she brought him up yesterday I just asked questions like well how does that make you feel, and if you need to talk to someone because its bothering you I'm here and then I quickly changed the subject with a joke and make her laugh.

 

Thoughts? More advice?

 

Thanks for writing

[enadevoli]

just let her know that you are there for her right now. its going to be hard for her. we all know how much it hurts to get dumped. if she brings it up, just ask her if she wants to talk about it. i know you said that you never bring the ex up, but she might. talking about things makes it easier. i would say that you need to wait until she gets over her ex to start something with you. what if her ex comes back & she still has feelings for him? she might want to see if maybe it works the second time & you will only get hurt by this. however, if she is over him, it will be easier to turn him down.right now she's probably at that stage where she wants to feel loved, so i would say just let her know that you are there for her when she needs to talk & you can give her hugs & just things like that, but i wouldn't try a relationship with her just yet.