Questions on dating...

[datingchick]

I've been out of the dating game for about 8 years (was married, and divorced now for 2 1/2 years). So I decided, since its been hard for me to meet people out at bars, and places liek that - and also because I have a pretty active social life - to try online dating. Over the past month, I"ve corresponded with a few different guys, and been out on a first date with a few.

 

I guess I"m wondering - I don't know how to take things. I met guy #1 whom I have a lot in common with, after talking on the phone a few times. We'd also exchanged a few emails and decided we liked each other enough to meet. So we did. The first time we went out was a weeknight, and it went pretty well, we were both obviously nervous though. I gave him a hug goodnight, and we sort of held hands for a moment. He said he would like to get together with me maybe later that weekend, and that he would give me a call. So the week went by, the weekend passed, and finally monday rolled around (almost a week from our first meeting) and I had all but given up on him. I didn't call him at all...just figured he'd call me if he was interested. Anyways, to my surprise he calls me that monday evening and asks if I want to go out with him again on tuesday. I said sure. We had an even better time this time, and spent twice as long out together. This time when he walked me to the car, he asked if he could kiss me...and I said sure. We kissed for about 20 minutes or so...and then I said I had to leave (it was late on a weeknight). He was very polite, and respectful...and didn't try anything. He told me he would be gone this coming weekend to visit family, and that he'd like to get together again the following week (this week). I said that sounded good, and went home. He also told me that he was glad we liked each other, and that he thought we had good chemistry. Well, tomorrow will be a week since our 2nd time out together...and he hasn't called yet. ANyways, I called him today since it's been almost a week since we went out. He said he was finishing up some stuff at work, and that he couldn't chat now, but wanted to know if he could call me back later tonight, or better yet tomorrow. I said that would be fine, and he said he'd call me back. I guess I was kind of hoping he would ask if I wanted to do something instead.

 

I guess what I"m wondering is... is it weird that he doesn't call me at all in between us going out? I'm not saying I expect that at all, I"m cool with that... I don't call and pester him. It just seems like he's really interested, yet I can't figure out why he doesn't set up a time to do something a little more ahead of time. I know he's busy with the new job he's started... I guess I'm just curious. Is this normal for having dated someone twice? I don't know how this works. Do guys kiss someone that they don't want to go out with again? Ha, I guess I"m just paranoid and really out of the loop on things! Was it a bad thing that I called him tonight? Should I always just wait for a guy to call me after a date or two, instead of calling them? I haven't ever called him except the one time he asked me to. This time was the first time I called him out of the blue. I feel kind of like maybe it was a bad idea. I guess I just have to wait and see if he calls me tomorrow night. Any thoughts?

[Tonk]

Hi,

 

I have had a similar experience I started dating after 8 years of mariage which broke up last year. I personally found it a weird experience in that when I was married even in the worse times I would have so much contact with my ex (i.e. 8 emails phone calls per day at work even if we were seeing each other in the evenng). I have recently got into a relationship and find it difficult that I dont get the contact that I am used to. Sometimes feel I should give her more space but I am not used to this and want to contact her more its very strange.

 

I think you should ring him but remember things have to develop. Most of all ask him, sometimes its a case of him not knowing were you are either. Communicate with a capital C, when I first started to see my gf she thought I was interested because I was taking my time and trying not to hassle her. Stick with it he sounds like a good guy.