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I've had quite a complicated "relationship" with a guy that I met online. For a month or so, we have talked and become really interested in one another. At the time we were both single, but a few weeks ago, his ex-gf asked him to get back together and so he did. I told him we could just be friends and I'd give him his space and all that. We continued to talk on a friend basis but feelings on both sides began to arise and by the end of this week, he was ready to fly down and see me. I got an email today stating how all our conversations and feelings are wrong and that he can longer talk to me because he feels as though it will keep adding fire to the flame.


How can someone that feels so strongly about me and care about me just all of a sudden turn against me, so to speak? I respect that he is with his gf but should that mean that we can't still try to talk as friends? I mean, the chances of us actually getting to meet face-to-face is very slim.


It's weird how I've never even met the guy but felt the way I do about him. Is the uncommon or just lust? Luck has run out for me... so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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It's easy to get attatched to someone as a person, regardless of whether you have met them or not. I think he is doing this for his best interest, because I believe from what you said he knows he has strong feelings for you too, but acting on them would be less sensible than just dating someone he's dated in his past, and she is there right with him.


I'm sure he thinks about you more often than you think, just lay low, and let him figure out exactly what he wants.

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I know you're right and he admitted that he thinks about me all the time.. more often than he should. But I guess accepting this news is harder than I planned. And why is it that when you find that perfect someone, something just goes terribly haywire? Maybe it's just me but my luck has been off all year long. Thanks for your input anyhow.

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He probably feels he won't be able to get as involved with this girl and do the try at a relationship with her justice if he's torn between you and her. If he's emotionally tangled up with you, he'd continue to depend on that, and it would leave the relationship he's trying pretty hollow and superficial. He needs to see if he can get involved with her to the same extent, and this is probably his only viable option at trying that - it's all too easy to stay dependent on someone for emotional support and love once that level of attachment has been established, and depending on the depth, it could take on the same significance as cheating in his mind. I'm sorry it had to come to a choice, because I know how it leaves you with unresolved feelings and a void where he was, but try to accept his feelings for you were too strong to reconcile as just friendship, and let him go as best you can.

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