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What to do when you are trying to get over the ex?


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Thanks for reading.

It's been 3 months since my ex broke up with me and for some reason I can't stop thinking about her. I still love her and miss her. Here is a link to my previous post link removed

 

The thing is that since the break up I've dated 4 girls and 1 in particular for the last month and they all seem nice and cute and all but I still can't stop thinking of the ex. When we were together she was so good to me. I was never mean to her but I never truly showed her how much I loved her in the 2.5 years we went out. I basically took her for granted.She wanted to have kids,get married etc.. but I kept brushing that off. Just scared I guess. But she has been dating this guy since the first week we broke up and it really hurt me especially since she is still dating him as of now. She grew up about a 2 hour drive away , so she is lonely here without her family and friends. She really only has one friend in town and I'm thinking that this new relationship is just so that she doesn't get lonely. I may be wrong though.

The question is, what is the best way to show your love for someone and try to get them back after 3 months apart? Should I even try to pursue it ? Or should I keep the contact rule going as I have been doing for the last 2-3 weeks?

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Hey. I think the best thing to do is to continue the no contact with her. I know its hard and after three months you still love her and want her back, but you have to give her the time she needs for now. If she is the one that wanted the breakup, then you should respect that. This is how you show that you love her...by allowing her the time she needs. I think that part of loving someone is just wanting the other person to be happy..even if its not with you. If she really loved/loves you, then time will allow her to realize that she made a mistake when she broke up with you. I know it hurts...I was where you are 4 months ago and it really sucks. Give her time...I hope this helped! Just hang in there and take things day by day.

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thanks love me...

I've been thinking about the no contact rule still and I guess it is still the best way to either get her back eventually or to move on and heal.

I was thinking about sending her a poem that I wrote but will wait on that and not send it..this is the poem.

 

 

Every time you look at me a part of me dies

I know that there's someone else I can see it in your eyes

They always tell the truth even when you're telling lies

I know that you love someone else I can see it in your eyes

 

When I look into your eyes, there's someone I can see

you don't have to say it, but I know that it's not me.

There's a new little light, that shines in your eyes,

and I guess that's why you have been telling me those lies.

 

Don't lie to me anymore, just tell me like it is,

and tell me how he makes you hurt me like this.

 

I tried to make you happy and I did all I could,

but I guess he's been doing what you thought I should.

you been holding on to me but you didn't know what for,

the coldness in your touch says you don't love me anymore.

 

I never thought that our love would ever have to die,

Now all that's left is for me to say goodbye.

I'll dry my tears and hit the road headed somewhere I don't know,

all you have to do is say that you want me to go.

 

But even when I'm gone my heart will be with you,

and when you're lying next to him remember that my love for you was true.

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The thing is that I have told her how much she means to me and that I love her. Especially the first 1.5 months.. She's dating someone new now since a week after our break up.Rebound relationship obviously.

She was always telling me that she is scared to try again.

This is the e-mail she sent me 2 dsays after we broke up. The guy Scott she is talking about is the guy she started dating right after we broke up and is still is now.

 

Hey.... well i guess i have tried to explain myself to you, but it sounds very confusing to you, i know... But i feel like leaving is the best thing for us right now. We have spend too long fighting with eachother and to many times where i have left and came back and we went right back to where we started. I need to find happiness, for a long time i wished that i could with you, but it ended up that we both weren't happy. There is no one else in my life, Scott is just a friend that happens to be going throw the same thing. I'm sorry that you are hurt when I talk to him, i guess i'm just trying to find anwsers for my life and advice from a third party. Another reason for me leaving is that i need to find myself, there are alot of things that i need to think about and i think that i would be able to think clearer without you around. I want you to know that without a dought, I Love you and nothing will change that. I'm just scared to stay, because i've tried that so many times and it never worked.Please understand my decision, i'm not doing this to hurt you, i'm doing this because i truly think that it's the best decision right now. And who knows maybe when we get back together, we will appreciate what we both have and work more things out rather than fight. And that all i want.... is to be happy.. jamie I Love you sherry xxoo

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Just wait for awhile. Work on yourself. There is much more to her feelings for you than meets the eye. She really does love you and I wouldn't be worried about your future. Don't rush things. Don't pressure her. Just let her be. Maybe this relationship she is having with this other guy is just two people in a similar situation trying to make sense of it all? A lot like you are trying to do by posting on this forum?

 

Give some space. It is difficult, but it is best for now.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub

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