Why have I lost all confidence suddenly?

[DurandaPanda]

So just a quick profile before I start whining. I'm quite confident talking to girls in general, like as in normal chat, jokes, political talk, sport talk, just idle chit chat, whatever. However in terms of being forward in expressing any kind of romantic interest... well not my strong area. But still, I do most of the time talk myself around into (an often half assed) effort... eventually.

 

Recently (read: months) theres this girl I've been interested in. I've posted before, and I've decided what course to take with this, but I just... can't do it.

 

Every night I go to sleep telling myself that the next day I'll call her, arrange to catch up/go out/have coffee, whatever. And it's not like it's a daunting task with a high risk of failure. We've both told eachother that our friendship is one of the few close ones that we left high school with. And hell, we have a great rapport going with eachother. It's a simple task of calling her and seeing when she's free and arranging it.

 

But I just can't do it. I don't know why. Even when I think "oh what have I got to lose give it a try" I can't bring myself to do it. And I suppose if I waited ANOTHER month or something I'd get around to it, but I'd like to nip this in the bud right now.

 

So yeah, psychoanalyse/advice me.

 

PS: to those for whom that didnt make sense: have friend, want to be more than friends, she doesnt know, have lost all nerve to talk to her or contact her even a regular friend, halp me!

[buckdawg]

maybe you know that once you ask her out your friendship will never be the same again and that scares you?

[DurandaPanda]

I dunno... might be it. Although I have previously gone out with close friends and it hasn't destroyed the friendship post non traumatic break up (its always non traumatic... thankfully).

[buckdawg]

maybe it's because she really means something to you (and i mean really really means something to you) and you're afraid of crossing a line and losing her?

[DurandaPanda]

After a brief moment of deep though I think that is much closer to the truth.

 

Which brings me back to my initial request for help/advice. As in what should I do/how should I approach this?

[ghost69]

are you scared to flirt with other guys as well?

[ghost69]

After a brief moment of deep though I think that is much closer to the truth.

 

Which brings me back to my initial request for help/advice. As in what should I do/how should I approach this?

 

call them to meet up. act normal. then show some flirtation. if u usually flirt with him, step it up a bit.

[buckdawg]

After a brief moment of deep though I think that is much closer to the truth.

 

Which brings me back to my initial request for help/advice. As in what should I do/how should I approach this?

 

I can't answer that for you but if it were me I'd go for it. Admittedly I'm a hopeless romantic and think love will always win but sadly I get proven wrong from time to time.

 

i haven't really cleared anything up for you have I? lol

[DurandaPanda]

are you scared to flirt with other guys as well?

 

Point of interest, it's a girl, I'm the guy. And no, I'm not scared to flirt. Im quite good at it gnerally (with 'general' meaning with girls as a whole)if I'm allowed to trumpet myself here.

 

And it's just a like... localised thing with this girl if you catch my drift. Just her, one of my closest friends, and I'm so scared out of my wits that I'll misstep that I'm like... frozen.

[ghost69]

Point of interest, it's a girl, I'm the guy. And no, I'm not scared to flirt. Im quite good at it gnerally (with 'general' meaning with girls as a whole)if I'm allowed to trumpet myself here.

 

And it's just a like... localised thing with this girl if you catch my drift. Just her, one of my closest friends, and I'm so scared out of my wits that I'll misstep that I'm like... frozen.

 

well, in my experience whenever it crossed over into intimacy with a friend, it never went back to how it was. so i don't cross that boundary anymore. but you know, we all mature, dynamics change, etc. and so do our wants and needs. sometimes a friend has it all. whatever you decide, good luck.