Is he right or Am I?

[FlovesK]

Here is the Scenario..

I decided this morning to deliver my husband's lunch myself instead of sending it with a messenger.. I did not inform him... Thought will keep it a surprise.

I go there. he comes to the reception, smiling, we talked for a while, there were too many people in the canteen then, i could not wait another 45mins to have some space, he told me had i called him before coming, he would have told me to come a lil later on..

I told him i had wanted to surprise him, he said, surprises do not work at work.. hurt me, he did not even appreciate my going out of the way to visit him there.

i just left, refusing him to escort me to the taxi stand.. he called me later on asking me what went wrong earlier on.. my point is if he spent 15mins of his lunch hour talking to me, what was the harm.. he says its not so nice sitting there at the reception talking even if it is during lunch time..

is my husband embarrassed by me? was i right in getting hurt? am i overreacting on such a small incident?

[Daligal83]

I don't think he was saying that he didn't like your surprise. I think he just felt bad that you had done all that, but couldn't actually sit and have lunch with him. It sounds like he wanted to have lunch with you, and was just saying that because of the way it works there, just showing up doesn't let that happen. It wasn't a criticism in my opinion, just him letting you know how it works.

 

I think he really doesn't understand why you are upset, so explain to him that you felt that he didn't appreciate the thought behind what you did for him. I don't get from what you said at all that he was embarrassed at all. If he was embarrassed, he would have taken you outside where no one could see you.

[Weeblie]

It doesn't sound like your husband is embarrassed by you.

It's alright to be a little hurt.

And yes, you're overreacting a tiny bit.

 

I get the feeling that your husband was trying to say that lunch would've been more pleasant if you had let him know in advance what you were doing. He could've found a better spot, or he could've let you come at a time when he knew things weren't so busy. I agree that sitting at a reception area for lunch sounds awkward. You said so yourself that you couldn't wait for some space.

 

But I think that while he was being practical, he still could've acknowledged that you did something nice for him. So I'd be hurt that he kind of missed the bigger picture.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i think this is a case where a nice surprise didn't turn out so well because of the circumstances. i don't think he is embarrassed by you, but it is not usual for people at work to eat their lunch in the reception area where there may be clients coming in etc.

 

so i think he was uncomfortable with the situation, not with you.

 

work rules are often not set up to allow families to 'drop in' when unexpected. plenty of places don't even let people in unless they have a work badge and have cleared security.

 

so i wouldn't take this as anything against you, but against the company environment which is not every flexible.

 

next time call him and ask to go out for lunch, or just bring him a surprise, say hi, drop it off and leave...

[ghost69]

well, i don't have the same lunch time each day at work. sometimes stuff comes up and i don't eat for hours after my normal time. so a surprise wouldn't work some days. nice gesture? of course. sometimes it's just hectic.