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I need some advise on what i can do! Old flames.... ...


bebopnjammer
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Ok, this is my first and hopefully only posting. I have been going out with a girl that i truly love for almost two years. She had a boyfriend at one time and he broke up with her because she... well.. did something that wasn't to pleasant to a boy in her neighborhood, we can call him bob. Her boyfriend lived about 100 miles away and never wanted her to be near him, so he called off the relationship. Now i come into the picture. When we first started to date she told me she was "pure". I later found out to my dismay when some of her friends stopped talking to her that she wasn't. I am. i was hurt to find i wouldnt be the first because i kept myself "clean". A few weeks ago her ex came back and told her he forgave her and asked if he broke up with his girlfriend and she brokeup with me if they would have a life togather again. I was extremely proud that she said no... no the real problem. She just withdrew from college because she was extremely depressed there, and she has gone back home to live at her parents. we are college freshmen and have very little money. before she left for college this friend of hers, bob, stopped talking to her because i was there, he didn't like me. and, of course, i am 300 miles away from her. in college i was 10 minutes drive away. And of course Bob is talking to her again. I am afraid of losing her. I have had multiple relationships end in my past badly with the other girls ending up lesbian or bi, which really hurts a man's ego. How can i overcome this fear and anger? It only happens with this one guy, i have never felt like this with any of her other male friends, only Bob 0X . I need help. I was perfectly content when she was 300 miles away from him, but now, being just a few minutes walk, i cant stop this sick images in my head. I can't afford professional help, so i am seeking the help of experienced people. anyone with ideas, please let me know, it is better to try whatever than have these images in my head.

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I'm sorry there hasn't been a response yet. Usually we are quicker in our responses. Perhaps I would suggest that in future posts you ask a direct question you'd generate more responses that way.

 

Anyways to your post. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do. A long distance relationship is hard from the get go. She does have a history with this guy when she was younger, at the same time she did refuse her old BF when he ask her to return to him. Preahps she has grown up a bit.

You have to understand that you are both quite young. Chances are she isn't the one for you anyways, but that shouldn't stop you from pursuing her or caring. Just put things into perspective.

 

All you can do is trust her and believe in your relationship. There isn't much you can do 300 miles away. Hounding her and checking up on her will only push her away. I defiantly recommend you speak to her and tell her your feelings and concerns this is a good thing, but don't try and guilt her into action.

 

This other guy sounds like a loser. He dislikes you for dating a girl that he messed around with a long time ago? Or is there more to the story then that?

 

I think the most important thing for you to do is to realize that no matter what happens you will persevere and survive. You will move on and your will grow, you will be happy and complete with or without her. You are your own man either way.

 

P.S. I wouldn't think a woman becoming a lesbian is a blow to your ego. First off she probably always had feelings for the opposite sex she just acted on them, it was an eventuality whether or not you were around. Also I would find the humor in it. You were so good that no man could ever satisfy them the way you did, you broke her ;o)

 

(Well maybe not, but it's good for my ego)

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