ex love best friend loosin both what do i feel

[charlotte_skye]

i dont knwo what im feeling i need help!

i wasnt in love or sure if i was with my ex so i broke it off with him. then we became really close still as i wasnt sure what i was feeling, i had been lonely and he was so everything i needed after my last relationship...he was caring and needed me and always there for me and i could be myself etc. but then he really fell for me and i had to break it off completely then 6 weeks later after we broke up i went overseas, he reckons he took it really hard , i knwo he woulda.

the thing is as i was leaving he met someone and i was so scared of what i had done, i didnt wnat us to loose our closeness, i realized i loved him and could easily fall in love with him if i let myself so i wanted to give it a try, so ia sked him but he couldnt, he broke up with the rebound girl but he couldnt go back with me, we stayed good friends and when i got back form overseas 2 mnths ago weve spent almost everydya togther.

i realized he didnt need me anymore and i wanted him too still, i wasnt sure if i loved him or just needed him, and needed him the way he used to care about me and needed him to need me way he used to.

I havent got many friends here anymore after being a traveller so long etc and i only got him, thing is i do knwo i care about him more then anyone else, i really do and i know half the reason why i feel so bad now is that i didnt say sorry for stuffin him around b4 i went overseas and feeling like beacuse of that we arent close anymore.

i guess just b4 i left for overseas when i realize di loved him i realized i didnt want to loose the closeness we had.

but now we cant even be best friends and hang out everyday because hes met someone, and our friendship is based on stayin at each others houses etc and spendin lots time together, were best friends but i know he doesnt need me or care about me like he used to and i miss that. i miss the closeness. i hate the idea we wont be bale to do everythin g together and he wont need me and i wont be so close to him, its like i feel liek i need to be needed, or is it love? its like i dont think im in love cos of things liek when he told me he wasnt in love with me naymore i didnt mind but then why do i care so much, can you care so much because you need someone and they dont need you and their your best friend and now all of a sudden you cant be? i care about him so much but im not in love, its like i know i could be in love iwth him liek fall in love with him if we gave it another shot and with time and i would like to but i knwo he doesnt feel the same. i dont htink im in love with now but could be, but is that cos i need him or love him? its so hard to tell the difference.

thing is i feel like im not in love with him but this is bothering me sooooo much. i feel like im not in love but i DO LOVE him and im just going to miss the closeness we had and thats why i wish he still needed me etc.

do you think im in love or just need someone and need him to need me cos i do care about him as best friend n dont wnat to loose that, im so confused.

[fortyperiwinkles]

maybe you should try meeting up with some of your old friends from before you went overseas. you're confused about how dependent you are on him, and it's possible that some of that stems from being with him so much. so find some buddies and hang out with them for a while, let them fill the place of best friend, and then see if you still feel like you need him...