how do shy women act toward a guy they really like?

[steelwool]

I'm doing a study in school and I need as many answers as possible. Thank you in advance. If it's possible can you also tell me how shy women act toward guys they DON'T like?

[Crazy8]

okay, I just happen to be shy, so I hope this helps you. when I'm around a guy I really like, I tend to look at everything except the guy. I have a problem looking straight at them when their looking at me. And when I do happen to make eye contact, I get really nervous and start messing up what I'm trying to say. in other words I do alot of studdering, or I laugh alot, cuz I get so nervous. But when I'm with guys that I don't like, I really don't get nervous, I guess because I don't care what they think about me. Around them I just act normal, like I would around anybody else.

[spirited]

i'm shy. and when i like a guy, i have the tendency to avoid him. i can't put my guard down with him because i'm afraid of what he'll think of me. when i am with him, i'll always try to do or say something that makes me look good. it's odd how i want to both get his attention and not. i also have a tendency to smile more when i'm with the guy.

 

when i'm with a guy who's a friend, but someone i don't like in that way, i feel more comfortable. it's easier for me to be myself. i'd probably act about the same way i would if the person was a girl.

 

hope that helps.

[heyou]

Hey Ladies! Thanks for the info....these little tidbits helped me as well!

[subtitled]

i'm shy, but i'm good at covering it up to a degree, so when i like someone. i'll cover up my nerves by making jokes out of things... but if i'm intimidated by the person i like, i will yes, avert my eyes etc.

 

i want to know what shy guy's do when they like someone!

[Cid]

ok a shy guy will act veary stressed out around her and he will be quite but he will try to make eye contact. Oh yea one more thing you should know is us shy guys cant pick up clues and hints there is alot of reasoins why that is some time we are hurt from outher relasionships or we are self consense about what you think. Well I hope that this helps Subtitled

[steelwool]

What can a guy do to make you more comfortable around him? Is there anything he can do to make you even more interested than you are?

[mjctraider]

I tend to try and make eye contact, but if she looks at me I look the other way. I also tend to become very quiet and nervous and eventually I end up walking away. It really sucks and it would be nice to break this cycle. Even if I'm not going to ask the girl out and I just want to make conversation I can't. I wish the I could grab the outgoing side of me that comes out once every so often and harness that energy and keep it so that I am outgoing and talkative. I know it sounds weird, but I do wish it were possible. I also have to agree with what Cid said in his post.

[sportsfan20]

I'm shy also and with this girl that I like though she's away at college now where I don't see her but talk online....at the start when I saw her in person I got really nervous and couldn't talk w/o messing up. after talking a bit to her I got more comfortable but the nerves were still there. with this girl I've heard she's shy yet she's told me before she's not that much anymore where I think she's more outgoing type but who knows if she could still be in this kinda stuff anyway in person she just looked nervous like did the avoidance stuff or when walking past just looked the other way or looked forward but down. when I'd say sarcastic or silly stuff to her,she wouldn't say anything but gave me a bashful grin. to this day i'm still trying to figure out if she could like me or not but if those are clues well their ya go lol

[Centralshyguy]

Like the other guys before, when I am around a girl I like, I try to make eye contact with them, but when they look, I look away more times than not. And when I am talking to them I stammer all the time.

 

Thanks for the advice from the women about shy girls looking at everything but the guy. That will really help me out. Another thing I have noticed is when a shy guy and a shy girl are together, there is lots of empty conversation where it is so quiet. I'm not saying that is a bad thing because some people, both guys and girls, can talk too much.

 

One thing I am wondering girls; is there other signs of an interested girl other than the eye contact. I would really like some more insight.

[stl123]

yeah I need some info also.....I like girl this but can't figure out for sure what she thinks of me. well now she's away at college where I can only talk to her online where she'll still respond to me right away,gives open answers when I ask her a question or if i'll ask how she's doing or whats up..she'll respond and then ask me back.

 

I know she could just being nice but what happened before that makes me wonder though. I used to work with this girl and I think she's the shy type also. first started when I started to have some interest in her, i'd talk to her a little and she was talkative seemed just fine. well around the time I asked her if she had a online screename..she gave it to me w/o a problem and was still joking around like with me.

 

times past she started acting differently with me..more quiet and possibly nervous like where with everyone else especially guys there in which I knew she had no interest in she was herself joking around and all.

 

 

with me when we'd walk past each other she'd look in a different direction or look down. couple of times I did catch her looking at me where she ended up turning her head quick then. if i'd walk near her she'd look at me I guess to see who it was and turn her head quick back then. yet when i'd ask her a question she'd answer it. say i'd say something silly or sarcastic she wouldn't really say much but had a bashful grin to her.

 

well time came where it was a matter of time for her to leave for college and I was still clueless if she was just being shy cause she liked me or the other,so one night on here I told her how I felt.well she said she wanted the rest of the time to spend with friends not knowing when chances come again with seeing each other plus she didn't think she should start anything with leaving for college and maybe keep things how they are. to me it wasn't like a total blow off where she could've easily just said she thought of me as a friend or something to make it more open for me to go away or something.

 

after that seeing her in person..she was still avoiding like and just seemed nervous. where if I was standing in an area alone she couldn't come stand near where she had to walk off and do something. where as if groups of people were around it was easier,but she couldn't give me any eye contact. when her and I still walked past each other she'd look in a different direction or down..or if she did look she'd just give me a serious expression.

 

where as now I only talk to her online. when I say hi whats up or how she's doing...she'll respond and ask me back. for the most part when I'd ask a question she'll respond right away and give an open answer. the other night she was workin on homework but she still talked to me though it took awhile to answer which I understand that she was busy. my thinking yeah she could be just being nice but from what has happened,you'd think she'd be more avoiding like online if she had no interest.

[saren]

I'm a shy girl. I get all stammery and feel stupid when I'm around the guy I like. I feel like I must be such a bore for him, and feel anxious because I want to tell him how I feel so bad, but I can't..... and so I just bask in his company, and never get it done. But he doesn't get it.

 

But when I'm around someone I have NO interest in, I don't care what they think of me, so I don't check my behavior. I just say whatever.

 

However, if a guy likes ME and I don't like him BACK, I avoid him. I have a hard time talking to him, making eye contact and feel very uncomfortable, simply because I don't have the social tact to get rid of him in a ... polite? Non hurtful manner, at any rate.

[saren]

you'd think she'd be more avoiding like online if she had no interest.

 

Yeah, I've been known to block guys who I found out like me (if I don't like them back) just because I don't want to deal with the situation. Ditto for returning phone calls.

[stl123]

saren, you think that my chances are good then that this girl likes me from info given but just holding off because of possible shyness or just because of college period?

[saren]

Hmm.....

 

So she's nervous around you when you're in front of her, but her regular self on the computer when the "you're in front of her" sressor is gone, eh?

 

I'll answer this from my own perspective, and my own behavior, but I can't guarantee all people are the same.

 

If I was her, chances are, if I was acting like that, it's because I like you, but would be getting all flustered because of the turmoil that hiding those feelings invokes. If she was ignoring you ENTIRELY (and behaves like me) that would mean she found out you like her and doesn't return the feelings but can't bring herself to tell you herself.

 

So my advice is the same as what *I* have to do with someone I like: find a way to tell this person in a way that will not scare them off. Or just take the pressure off HER by letting her know, "Well, it's just that I really like you" and leave it at that. Don't blow a big thing out of it, because chances are if she's shy or a little flighty, she'll freak out at teh magnitude of what you just said.

 

It's always a more admirable and mature thing to let her know yourself than to ask her friends if she likes you (which will create a big gossip thing) or try to spy to find out. It's more gutwrenching to do it this way, though.

[stl123]

well she knows that I like her though because I told her on here sometime before she went off to college just because for that reason and also how she was acting with me in person at the time. she said she wanted the time to spend with friends not knowing when chances happen again to see each other and maybe keep things how they are where she didn't think she should start anything with going off to college.

 

After that time I saw her in person she'd either look down or in the other direction once walking past or she would look at me but with a serious expression.say if I said something to her in a silly way or sarcastic she'd give me a grin like she was being bashful..that's how I saw it anyway. still seemed nervous where she couldn't be around me. where now talking to her online only thing that she's away. well i'll IM her saying how she's doing or whats up and she'll respond and say you back? when I ask her a question if its something somewhat personal or whatever she'll answer it and responds right away most of the time.

[saren]

So she's eager to respond when you express interest in her personal life. That's good... I think she likes you, personally, but maybe she's scared about college or maybe she's scared that if you go out and things don't work out, that she'll lose you as a friend.... Maybe you need to talk to her.

[Cid]

You need to talk to her, yes it will put her on the spot but that will be the only way for you to find out.

[subtitled]

i talk to a few guys online that have expressed interest in me (that is said to me, you are exactly the sort of person i want to be with), and i have explained to them that i don't have the same sort of feelings.

 

This might just be me, but with these people, i seem to talk to them more freely, i chat away, without much concern. With people i like, i take much more care and consideration.

 

It's pretty illogical and unreasonable for the person i'm talking to i guess, but i would say that if i don't really like someone and they know that, i feel like that's all out in the open and there's nothing to hide. With people i like, i haven't let them know yet, i'm a bit more cautious, not wanting to be hurt.

 

I act a lot more bubbly and friendly around people i don't care about/don't like, thatn people i do.

 

People i like, i'm usually intimidated because i'm most likely in a position of admiring them, or i don't want to stuff up.

 

I really would like to change this behaviour.

 

ANYWAY...stl123 - i would say she enjoys your friendship, and nothing more. She is willing to chat with you - doesn't want to be rude, enjoys talking to you, but she doesn't like you in that way.

[Silversun]

One thing I am wondering girls; is there other signs of an interested girl other than the eye contact. I would really like some more insight.

 

As a shy guy myself in a tricky situation with a shy girl, I would be extremely grateful for more info from girls about how I would know a girl likes me....

[stl123]

subtitled,

 

with what you said that she might like talking to me as a friend but doesn't feel the same. I guess that's possible, to me I just figured with her knowing how I feel about her,that she wouldn't do anything to lead me as her liking me back..ya know? when i did tell her how I felt,she didn't come out and said sorry no interest,just thought of me as a friend an nothing more situation or something like that..just said she didn't want to start anything because with going off to college..made it sound more positive than negative but I dunno.

 

 

when I talk to her online she doesn't talk freely. where I pretty much do most of the talking and asking questions,but she'll respond right away and openly. little stuff like when I ask her whats up or how she's doing...she'd respond back of course then ask me back.

[macdomat]

Wellllllllll......

 

If they really liked someone, they'd probably throw an extra glance or two in the direction of their object of affection. Possibly smile a little more. Small, and subtle. Also note the reactions of her friends (if any). If THEY throw and extra glance in your direction, and she goes beet red, there's something there.

 

AS for not liking you, you wouldn't notice anything. It'd be stone cold. She wouldn't devote any extra time or effort.

[subtitled]

to me I just figured with her knowing how I feel about her,that she wouldn't do anything to lead me as her liking me back..ya know?

mmm.... but like i said, when girls have let the guy know they don't think of the guy more than a friend, they will act like a friend (ie. responding online).. talking to someone online isn't really flirting with you. It's what friends do.

 

when i did tell her how I felt,she didn't come out and said sorry no interest,just thought of me as a friend an nothing more situation or something like that..just said she didn't want to start anything because with going off to college..made it sound more positive than negative but I dunno

yeh, i know what this is like. You like someone, have invested so much in them, that as long as the answer isn't a total NO, you won't give up on the hope... but... if she has responded and said "i like you just as a friend", then i'm sorry.. but she doesn't like you more than a friend. If she liked you more than a friend, she would flirt with you, talk more actively with you, ask you to do stuff, get your number etc. and definitely, if you said "hey i like you" they would say "hey i like you too" back. when you like someone, you let them know. ESPECIALLY when they person you like has already put themselves on the line and said hey i like you.

 

when I talk to her online she doesn't talk freely. where I pretty much do most of the talking and asking questions,but she'll respond right away and openly. little stuff like when I ask her whats up or how she's doing...she'd respond back of course then ask me back

dude, that's what friends do.. if she was interested, she would be actively asking questions, chatting away etc. i always answer ppl online, it's the polite thing to do. I wouldn't read too much into that. Like i was saying, if someone likes you, there is no doubt (usually).. and if there is doubt, then they're probably the wrong person for you as your communication isn't 100%

[Jacqueline2004]

For most of my life I have become prone to being a very shy person. Yes I have had my moments like many others, when I become comfortable with and about my surroundings I become more outgoing and talkative. But I have noticed latley since I have begun to like a guy I know, is that I tend to be very quiet, nervous, and very fidgity. They all have become signs that I see myself repeditivly doing when he comes around. It's hard for me to talk unless it's just me and him! He knows I like him but that has not changed my body reactions when he comes round. Not only do I become very untalkative and fisgity I become repulsive in not wanting to look at him in the eyes yet even at him but when I do it usually ends up being for a short moment when I don't think he's looking. I really do hate being so shy and want to find some way to break my habit in that area. I think the best way that a girl can accomplish getting out of beingshy is with the support of friends, and family members who they trust. I guess you just have to start with figuring out your problem, but yeah I can truly say that once your a shy girl it pretty much stays unless your like me and the only time I become unshy is when i'm comfortable with the surroundings and the people, or when I have had a few drinks, lol, i'm telling the truth though. But that's all I really have to say I hope I have been of some help!

[magicbeans]

this is a good post, i know for one thing, shy women don't want to look at your eyes, in other words, they don't want to have eye contact with you...