Contact or no Contact???

[stiker24]

My girlfriend told me 2 weeks ago that she needed space, time to find herself, etc. She broke it off on the phone and at the same time said that she might want to get back together. I told her i really cared for her and want to be with her but i can't handle a break. It sounded over and the last thing i said to her was that i love her. She said i love you too. I hung up the phone and that was it. She emailed me once and it didn't really say anything in the email. I emailed her a couple of days ago saying hi and to "drop me a line" when you're not busy. I think she wants to talk but dosen't know what to say or do. Should i make the contact? I don't know if i should. I don't want to pressure her. Everything was great in our 9 months together up until this. Not sure what to do. We live 5 hours away from each other if that matters. Help please.

[Finzsoftie]

Ummmm. i dont think you should contact her. SHe will gather up the space and courage to talk to you and get everything off her chest.

The timing has to be right! In these situations. It is obvious you love each other...... but trust me..... just give her time to think and space to breath.

 

[Mar]

I think there are several reasons why she may have broken up with you. It could be 1)the distance and the difficulty in seeing each other on a regular basis, 2) she met someone else closer to her (I'm sorry, but it IS a possibility, unpleasant though it is) 3) she just feels a little more distant from you not being able to see you and has to figure out if she wants to continue to put effort into a long-distance relationship, etc. Also, "needing space" when one is 5 hours away from the one they love seems sort of weak, don't you think? Finding herself? Has she lost herself somehow? I'm sorry, but that excuse sounds rather weak coming from someone I'd imagine you only see once a week, at best. I could be mistaken on this, but that's a heck of a trip to take more than once a week, and I'm betting you don't, generally.

 

Give her the space. You've told her you love her, now let her figure out whether she wants to work on making this relationship last or not. I would most likely give it...a month, as a nice round number. If you don't hear from her by then, e-mail her or call her and ask her how she's doing, etc.

 

This DOES also (obviously) affect you. Do you want to wait for her to make up her mind? She did that "I want my cake and want to stuff my face with it too" thing in breaking up with you, yet, in the next breath, saying she might want to get back together. Once you break up with someone, you no longer have the right to call those shots! She didn't take YOUR feelings into consideration whatsoever on that one, since, in your shoes, I'd be insulted as heck that this girl could break up with me, yet seem to fully expect that I'll wait around till she wags her finger at me again!

 

So think about this for YOURSELF, not for her. Do you want to wait? Is there someone else who's caught your eye? I'm certainly not encouraging you to run right out and date, but only saying that, if you feel you'd LIKE to, then do so, you're certainly entitled! But I'd also question her a little further on her reasons for the breakup, and find out why she needs this "space" when she has ample space, and you two haven't been dating all that long! Good luck to you, I hope you can find a compromise with this.

 

Mar