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ARGH! 2nd breakup with same girl, going CRAZY!


in_flux
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what the %#@& is wrong with me? my girlfriend of 2.5 years (we live together) broke up with me at the beginning of august ... we were split for about 3 weeks (still living together) ... then she came crying to me beginning of sept. saying she missed me, wanted to get back together, etc ... i was pretty happy, things were great for about a week, then went back to the way they were during the breakup (she was kinda cold to me, no affection or intimacy, always saying she needed space, etc.) ... so last night i was finally like, "you gotta tell me what's up" and she was like, "i'm changing and i just don't see this working out, i'm not feeling this relationship like a girlfriend/boyfriend thing..." blah blah blah but goes on to say how we have this crazy connection and i'm like blood to her, etc ... so basically we broke up again and established the fact that she needs to move out really soon, like in the next couple of weeks ...

 

but i am having such a hard time letting go when the reality strikes, which is my problem ... for the last several weeks, while things have been kinda bad again (no communication, etc) i've been feeling like, god, i need to get out of this situation, it's no good for me, i don't want this, etc...but then last night i got this pang of panic and stuff when she was talking to me, like, i don't want this to end, i wanna work this out. OBVIOUSLY this is an ego thing (not in the sense that i have some big ego and am conceited), but still i am going between both of those emotional poles and i dont know how to navigate this ... i'm sure that down the line i will feel better about it but right now it's extremely difficult and i can't make up my mind how i feel. one minute, i'm glad we're breaking up and looking forward to being on my own again and not having to deal with all the negatives of our relationship anymore ... and the next minute i'm like, i'm losing this special person who i love and i'm gonna miss all the good little things terribly ... and this isn't the first time i've been through the breakup of a longterm relationship (the last one was nearly 5 years), but it feels like this is the first time ... just not sure how to deal with my emotions, and how to accept the finality of this. HELP!!

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Ohg...we are so going throught the same thing..my boyfriend of 2.5 years is moving out as a I write this. We broke up in April, but ended up getting back together after a month or so, then we broke up again Friday night. But this time for good. We also had the same problems, negativity, fighting, no communication whatsoever. It makes me really sad, but at the same time I know it's for the best..I think you & I both were staying where it was comfortable even though it wasn't the ideal situation. Just keep yourself busy, that seems to be what works best for me! I wish you all the best

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Breaking up is hard. Your girl needs to move out and maybe this will give you time to think. Maybe you guys cant still see each other without living together. She sounds confused too. Honestly, after awhile you will see the benefits of having peace in your life. You are used to the arguing and so on and you are having a hard time adjusting to it. Let her move out then see what happens.

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you're both right, it's just hard knowing that at one time not too long ago she was really in love with me, attracted to me, my soulmate, wanted to be with me forever, etc ... and now she feels none of that, feels no passion toward me whatsoever ... it's really hard to accept, seeing someone change their feelings toward me that much, and i honestly have no idea what happened, but i know i have to accept it and just let it go ...

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in_flux - i recently broke up with my soul mate. Every day I live in yesterday. I read her letters to me as if that will bring us back. We need to focus on us. No matter what we say or do, she will feel how she is feeling. We need to find the strength inside of us, so we can one day heal. To be honest with you. No, I dont think I will find another soul mate. I had my chance, and played the cards the wrong way. And no, I dont want to throw this hand back in, but I have to.

 

-Good Luck

 

==============================

"God I love her, but if you think it's better like this, than maybe I will one day see it to." - NeGeMo

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