Love Unreturned...What makes guys reject a girl they like?

[hintah]

I was rejected by a guy who I thought liked me. This guy had been flirting with me, etc. I was almost sure he felt the same way. As soon as I admitted my affections for him, he dropped off. He completely ignored my telling him I cared. In other words, he never said "I like you too" even though I know he did. This happened last year, and I still feel angry about it. I can't understand why he never asked me out. It's like, he liked me up until I told him I liked him. I keep feeling like maybe he never really liked me in the first place. He's been called a player, and I wonder if he just wanted to see if he could get me to like him, and then when it worked, I guess his test was over. This theory is hard for me to accept though. I could tell he liked me by the look in his eyes, not to mention his body language. Why do guys sometimes not act on their attractions--what could I have possibly done wrong. I don't want to be angry about this rejection any longer.

[-touch-of-heaven-]

hintah,

 

I'm afraid you might still have something to be angry about. I say here only what I truly think, and here it is. I think, he may have never meant anything more than harmless flirtation, and once you introduced a deeper meaning, he backed away. It might also be that he was just playing to see if he could, but not to actually get to be with you. I have done that not once. Usually, as sort of revenge against women in general, after rejection by someone who is truly important to me. It's cruel, it's shameful, and yet it happens. In that effect, if he did like you, it may have even been more of a motive not to be with you. My meaning is, that he may have just wanted to see if he could get you to want to be with him, and yet not surrender to his own wills and needs. A sort of foolish sense of pride by telling himself that he can control his own urges. I can however tell you that it's not usually like this, and if you try, I'm sure you will find someone who is interested in you and wants to be with you, and not just to test himself.

 

Best wishes.

[SmintyMinty]

Similar thing happened to me one time and it totally sucked. I was convinced this guy really liked me - he gave out all the usual signals was really flirty, touchy feely and there was that weird chemistry. But then when I told him I liked him he backed off. He said he had purely platonic feelings for me whatever that meant! At first I was really confused as I was convinced he was lying then really angry cos it felt like he'd just been playing with me. I think there are some totally immature guys out there who just do it for the ego thing. They just like to feel like top dog and get a kick out of it by making someone fall for them. It totally stinks but you'll get over it! In my case I ended up ignoring the guy completely afterwards as I thought it just wasn't worth the hassle. Don't feel down about this guy - there's plenty of other decent guys out there and the more you dwell on him the less likely you are to be open to meeting a cool guy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you and I'm sure you'll meet someone who will respect your feelings and not mess you around! Good luck!

[dark_fenix]

Okay, listen up... I'm a guy who has been through a similar situation(she was outgoing and I was kinda shy). I liked this girl a whole lot, at one point she meant the world for me. You didn't admit anything yet to each other but we felt it with our words, the eye contacts and just a feeling of care. Then she played around with games, showing interest one day and ignoring me on others, so I gave up on her. But then she indirectly admited to me that she loved me , when I finally heard these words I've been waiting to hear for such a long time, I didn't know if it was true. I felt happy yet very unsecure about myself, this girl was special to me but I felt she deserved the best in return. I didn't know If I could have given her that, I was scared to disapoint her for loving me. Then I thought It will never work out, but how wrong that was to think because I didn't really even give it a try. So in reply to that e-mail I just asked her how her summer was going on, not really admitting my feelings event though they were there. I got the feeling she was kinda hurt and it bothered me. So till next time i'm gonna be working on myself to be able to give her what she deserves and if it doesn't work out at least I tried... So maybe this guy was scared to be rejected and disapoint a special girl like you so he backed out. So give it one last try and if he doesn't capitalize on the chance go look elsewhere, you will know u tried....

 

Hope that helped you, good luck!

[confuse]

hi hintah,

 

it not wrong tat u being angry or sad. i have rather the same problem like u. but try not to blame guy or even gal for tat. i'm a guy my self. sometime mayb it jus cause by over sensitive. mi myself is confuse too. jus like u, u thinking tat the guy do like u. mi myself felt tat the gal like mi too, from the way she look(often take a look at mi). but i did confront with her too. but the problem is... she did say she like mi. but she can accept mi. I of cos feel sad jus like u. but i don blame her even she say this to comfort mi. my problem is jus abt a mth ago. i feel sad now too, but time will heal. some more ur problem have been abt a year +... try no to think so much, i knw it hard. i experience it b4.

 

Gd luck!