Why you think I Don't Trust men

[optimistic person]

I love a man with a high self esteem, beening understnding knows what is best for both of us.

 

BUT in terms of trust I don't trust guys very much about 5% out of 100%.

I had certain experiences in life thereforeeee I don't trust them.

 

For example. so you would know what I am taking about this is a few.

 

1. Relationship 2 yrs, i was at secondary school, was only getting $7 to take to school, and my bf asked me for money every week saved my money and bought a chain from that for me and stole his mom's pendent to put on it.

 

2. Had his guy, we kissed and we made out (used a condom) but lastly if found out he had an STD.

 

3. Had his guy, he had another girl i don't know about, she got vex with her so when they went to have sex he cut off the tip of the condom (cause he was vex) and got the female pregnant and told me that it was not his child and made the female feel like if she does not know who the child was for.

 

4. Had a guy that when to prision for killing a man lately the police found the man and the guy was free but not until 3 yrs.

 

5. Had a guy that almost make me go off insane because he had another female that i did not like and she was 5 yrs younger than me, lied to my mom sayong that they were not in a relationship and then if foung out that he bought her a samsung cell phone for $600 that was christmas so he could not buy anything for me because he had no money.

 

6. Had a guy that all me wanted was sex and unprotected sex and because i said no he got vex and left the relationship.

 

So I DON"T TRUST MEN. ok

 

Question:

why do you think i don't trust men keep in mind that i am student pharmacist and i know about STD/HIV/AIDS/CANCER/Hypertension/diabetes/DRUGS etc.

 

Because of this I don't want kids nor a husband nor any relationship at all with men I am only 21 yrs old.

[DREAM]

Oh my god gal you have had it bad.

 

I just think you looking in the wrong place, how about you change directions and look somewhere else. Where your not gonna find guys like that… trust me not all guys are like that.

 

Looks like you had all the bad ones tho. Don't blame you for not trusting them, but give your self a break from guys for a while and start again.

[Starfox86]

yes I am with Dream on this one, you just have to give it some time. I mean I'm a guy, and I would never do any of those things to anyone. That just isn't right. The thing is just to keep in there hang on, and if you feel yourself getting lonely, pick up a hobby. Like reading, or sports.

You'll be fine!

[adidas7fire]

man, i thought i had it bad but damn girl! you don't need that! now that you have seen and been with guys you have problems with.. at least you an idea of what you don't want. thereforeeee, when the time and right guy comes along, you won't have to worry about all that stuff because you will know what you want. but don't rush to find guys... that's hard to say but you don't want to find a guy just to say that you have one. and take this advice if you will... before hooking up with any guys, establish a friendship and then go from there... that way thruout the friendship, you will learn about their character and know whether to pursue anything further. good luck!

[Mar]

Wow, you're had more than your share of bad luck in the male department, that's for sure....

 

I have to ask where you've met these guys? Just in casual settings, like at friends' houses and such? Just curious, since you seem to ALWAYS get the rotten apple in the bunch....lol

 

But, in reply to your post, I don't blame you for not trusting men. Of course, as other people said, you DID happen to get a bad bunch, but that's certainly not the case with all men! Start out slowly-as adidas said, make friends with them first, and proceed with caution. Don't give of yourself (as in your trust, your affections, etc.) too quickly....give it time. Get to know how he gets along with his family-it's very true that someone who has a good relationship with their family is generally more trustworthy-don't know why, but I've always found that to be the case.

 

And go out on CASUAL dates.....don't rush into a heavy relationship if you're not 100% sure that this guy isn't going to pull the same stuff the last ones did. As you said, you're 21-you have SO much time to find the right man, who will treat you as you deserve to be treated. And, although easier said than done, try not to hold past experiences against all guys, since the majority of guys are NOT like that, by a long shot!

 

Mar

[Cid]

Mar is right go in to it slow. It looks like you found the bad bunch of guys. Not all of us are like that I would never do the things that they did. You are young only 21 so give it time it will come to you in time. Well I wish you the best of luck.

[optimistic person]

But thanks for the replys for every one

I meet these guys any where on the bus, at college, in town, just walking home. I don't approach these guys they approach me. I have never in My life asked a guy out nor have asked for their phone # they always asked me out and asked for my phone #. Which I don't give them mine, I take their because i want the ball to be in my court 1st. If I call you that means I am interesting if not I am not interesting.

[Gilgamesh]

Hello Optimistic

 

Now thats a mighty big list of bad partners you have had in your life, and it could be it was just bad luck, but I dont think it was just being delt bad cards.

 

You chose to be with each and every one of these guys, you need to ask yourself, why you attract these type of men in your life.

 

To you, it seems like only 5% of guys are half way decent, do you really thing thats what it is in reality?

 

Its more likely that you are attracted to 95% of the jerks out there, that only represent a small portion of the population.

 

I noticed you say you like guys to pursue you, well what does that attract, guys that are aggressive, just that act alone as an example, you filtered out any possibility of making contact with un-aggressive men, or slightly shy guys. see how this works? Instead of looking around and observing a mans charector and how he treats others, you settle for the guys that come after you, and hit on you, they do that to you and every girl that walks after you. get the picture?

 

So yes there are all kinds of jerks and very bad women too in this world, but you are the one that is responsable with who you date, Im sure that if i were present id be able to detect these scum bags real nature in 5 minutes.

 

I also read another post after this one, where you say you get sick from kissing guys, you need to realise that all the bad men you have accepted in your life has not been by accident, there is a reason you are attracted to these guys, its almost a self fullfilling prophesy now, you expect the next guy to be bad, and you fulfill that and make it true by attracting dating the same kind of dudes.

 

I have seen this through my life, a woman gets rid of one abusive man, and ends up with another , over and over, why? coincidence? bad luck? NO! because she has low self esteem and is attracted to these guys, happens to guys too.

 

The power to find and have a decent guy in your life is in your hands, as soon as you get out of the replicating cycle of self fullfilling your expectations, then youll have happiness again.

[charmed]

Hi Optimistic Person,

 

It does sound like you are attracting the wrong men here! At 21, probably for the next 20 years, you will have men approaching you, and you need to learn how to detect the ones that could hurt you.

 

You yourself need to analysis the men from the past. They all will most likely have similar things in common, and you will need to be able to detect that through all the smiles and lies.

 

Bottom line is as some of the guys above said. You need to be more cautious about getting into relationships, and while you are right to not give out your phone number, perhaps sometimes you should learn to simply say "no thanks" to the flattery when someone compliments you by chatting you up.

 

Hope this helps you some,