i want to orgasm too!

[bakerrac]

ok, so i've been with my boyfriend for about two years...we had amazing sex for like the first year and then slowly....we've gotten into a routine i guess. its become kind of boring and more for him than me. its still really good sex, but i often feel like its all about just him getting himself off. sex also doesnt last nearly as long as it used to. i know he wants to please me, but when he goes so quickly im just starting to get into it. the problem is...he doesnt seem to realize that after he goes there are other ways for him to make me orgasm. he's has done this for me a couple times, but thats it. i dont want to flat out ask him to finish me, but it makes sex almost discouraging for me because i feel like i never get complete satisfaction. what do i do?

[Belgian girl]

I think it should be nothing more than normal to speak about what's on your mind and the other person should be interested in that, otherwise I would ask myself questions about that last one..

 

Maybe if you want to try another way: react even better when he does satisfy you more than what you are describing so he will find out clear enough (I hope).

 

Also, you just reserve being comforted as well, it's not only about him having his pleasure and then quit.

 

The one I planned to perhaps start a sexual relationship with (a friend) usually asks me if I want him to continue (after he got an orgasm).

 

An other way could perhaps be to introduce some new positions/do some more experimentation, ask him things to do, show even more how much you like it when he does something you like, propose for ex. to do something with your g-spot,..

 

Or maybe use some more foreplay so perhaps it would be a bigger chance you two fill be satisfied about the same time..

[KG]

First, Welcome!

 

Try to slow him down. Some guys think the finish line is what they are racing for. It's more of a slow dance. Explain nicely that you need more time, more touching and caressing, you get to finish to. Most men will like that challenge, to see the pleased look on their girls face. And the sex is way hotter afterwards. Best sex starts with communication.

Good luck...

[treefrogkate]

i dont want to flat out ask him to finish me, but it makes sex almost discouraging for me because i feel like i never get complete satisfaction. what do i do?

 

Flat out ask him to finish you, and tell him that it makes sex almost discouraging for you because you feel like you never get complete satisfaction.

 

Seriously, though, you need to talk about this before it gets to be any more of a routine. Sit down with him, outside of the bedroom, and tell him that recently you've noticed that sex has been quicker, and as a result, you are not enjoying it as much. Ask him if he is ok with you asking him to finish you off or help you finish yourself off.

 

You should be able to talk about sex openly. I understand it can be scary, but you can only benefit from opening up the communication now, instead of years down the line when you're miserable and resentful.

 

Good luck!

[someguy88]

I agree with treefrogkate in one respect but I strongly disagree in another.

 

As a guy, I say you flat out tell him to finish you off, but don't go on and on about how you feel sex is discouraging. That'll just cause a lot of hurt feelings and really won't solve anything in the long run.

 

Believe it or not ladies, your guys DO want to please you. Take the initiative and tell him you can't get enough of his tongue and push his head down south. Or give him a vibrator and let him go to town.

 

Once we're hard, you're damn right in thinking that we want to get to the big O, but we're not completely oblivious to you, so go on and egg us on.

[treefrogkate]

I agree with treefrogkate in one respect but I strongly disagree in another.

 

As I guy, I say you flat out tell him to finish you off, but don't go on and on about how you feel sex is discouraging. That'll just cause a lot of hurt feelings and really won't solve anything in the long run.

 

Well really I was rewriting what she had originally written for effect. I would never advocate purposely hurting someone's feelings. But she needs to be open and honest with him, and saying "Oh yes, the sex is fine" when it's not is not the way to go about it.

[KG]

Talk, talk,

Kiss, Kiss,

Guide, Guide,

Gasp, Gasp,

Thrust, Spin,

Cuddle, Enjoy!

[someguy88]

I totally get what you're saying treefrog. I wasn't implying that I thought you were out to hurt anyones feelings. I just think that having a big sex talk is a whole lot of unnecessary work that could lead to bigger problems.

 

This really isn't rocket science. You can either talk about the problem or skip the talk and get right into solving it.

 

@ bakerrac - I was dead serious when I said you should tell him how much you like his tongue and to shove his head down south. I mean, I find it hard to believe that any guy would refuse his girl if she came out and said she wanted him to lick her hmmhmm because it makes her hot.

 

Use the K.I.S.S. method. Keep It Simple & Sexy

[bakerrac]

if he gets me off before sex, i probably wont be in the mood anymore. but thank you, everyone, for your advice.

[aviator]

i dont want to flat out ask him to finish me,

You need to flat out ask him to finish you.

 

if he gets me off before sex, i probably wont be in the mood anymore

 

Um, isn't this a hypocritical statement?