Girlfriend broke up with me, trying to figure it all out

[Quest]

Hi, I'm new here and I stumbled upon this board. Just wondering if I could talk to people I dont know and view some opinions. I am 21 years old, and I was with my girlfriend for 9 months before she broke up with me. Not a long time, but we clicked really early and were always really close. Feels like we were together for ages. Anyways, we always had problems, right from the beginning, but we worked through everything. I am bipolar and have constant mood swings. I have a very bad temper, and she saw that for the first time about 4 months into the relationship, and it scared her. I had thought she cheated on me, and I didn't hold back any punches(not literally, I never hit her). I have a big mouth, and I say things I dont mean when I'm angry. Its like I cant control what I say. After a lot of fights, and a few breakups, we agreed that we would stop fighting about stupid things, and take things easy and focus on the good stuff. unfortunately for me, my depression kicked in at the wrong time, and sent me into a downward spiral after getting sick with bronchitis, and then having a small car accident. I had no money, and I was depressed. She broke up with me about a week after all that, we spent the morning together, had a good time and then she went to work. She called me from work and broke up with me over the phone. That morning was the last time I ever saw her. She said that she just didn't like the person I was, and that we weren't good for each other. After trying to contact her a few times, I once again lost my temper and said a few things that I regret saying. She wanted to have nothing more to do with me, and refused to speak to me ever again. A couple days after that, she sent me a message on msn apologizing for being a bitch, but again stating she didn't want anything to do with me. After that, she took off, and quickly came back online telling me that her brother had heard one of the stupid threatening messages I had left her, and ordered her to stay away from me, also mentioning that he may get some friends to do something to me. He is involved in some bad stuff, I hear. I dont know if I believe her, but I haven't contacted her since. Not for fear of her brother, just to get away from the conflict. I just want to get some opinions on the situation. I still dont really know why she broke up with me, when we promised each other we'd take things easy. A lot of people tell me she has found someone else, but for some reason I just dont see it. I am lost and confused, depressed and guilty. I just need to talk.

[Prince]

I get the feeling it wouldn't have worked anyway. But I think that you should let this one go. For the best. Or you would keep having fights etc. Maybe talk to her a bit more, but thats all you can really do.

[Hero_99]

Dude, I hate to say it, but I don't think she is at fault for the break-up.

You need to learn to control your temper and stop saying things unless you really mean them. One of the ingredients to a successful relationship is to allow the girl to feel secure around you, and frankly I don't think she is really feeling all that secure around you now.

 

By the way I would ignore the "brother heard what you said" thing. Sounds to me like she is making that part up. Girls tend to lie like that to make themselves feel secure or to send a point acrost.

 

My advice is to just leave her alone and forget about her. You will be doing more harm than good trying to stay in contact with her, and it will be better for you in the long run.

[Quest]

I never blamed her for the break-up, but she never really gave me a reason. I went a long time without getting angry, so I dont really think that was the reason for the initial break-up. I know that it was because of my anger and the stupid things I said that caused her to not want to speak to me. I blame myself, for being stupid and causing someone I really care about to leave me. I really regret it, and I wont forgive myself anytime soon. I still wish I could have her back though. I really wish I could.

[SunnyScott]

In all honesty, you could do so much better. If I had a boyfriend who was bipolar, I wanted bash him for it, I would be patient.

 

I believe that if you truly love someone, then you would accept them for all that they are, including psychologicaly problems. That's what true love is. You don't abandom someone just because you don't like this and that about them.

 

Just look at it this way, it was never true love. I hope that you find that right person for you someday, I really do.

 

Sorry to burst your bubble, but if you really want to know, I think that this ex of yours dumped you for another guy. Notice how the mood changed from you spending the night with her, and all of the sudden the next morning she conveniently dumps you? There's got to be a reason for that.

 

It's like the saying goes, "you gotta have a master in order to have a slave". What I am trying to say is that there is rationality behind it. You've got to have one thing in order to have another.

 

Most breakups end when one person finds another. Anyway, the person whose left behind should have faith that bad karma will come back to haunt the person who cheated.

 

Whatever excuses she makes, don't buy into it. Trust me, women don't just leave for nothing, they usually have a backup before breaking up.

 

Well, I hope that this helps. Don't worry too much. As a human being, you deserve so much better than to be treated like poorly. Take Care!