here is a new one...

[sisterlynch]

I want to break up with my family!! I hope they are reading this too, so they know that I don't want to see them anymore!!

 

I want them to know that I am sick of their negative styles of relating to me and letting their children run crazy and treat me poorly.

 

It hurts me when they belittle me and call me a lier. I never lie!!

 

Lately I have been obsessing about the last time I saw my brother in law, I'll call him Chuck. Chuck does drugs and always makes me fight with my husband after the family reunions. Last time he put his hand on my hip and when I told my brother and husband about it he tried to deny the whole thing. Later I made him admit it.

 

Even though i won that battle, I may have lost the war, I assume they will roll their eyes and say that is just "sister" misbehaving, looking for attenttion, remember the time she...

 

Maybe I'll go see Return of the King on Christmas instead of do the family thing, which will most likely turn into a fight somehow, and I'll be blamed.

 

Anyone else have trouble getting along with their family?

[Gilgamesh]

I havent had those kinds of problems personally, but others around me have.

 

You can choose you partner but you cant choose your family, your born with them.

 

I truly hope that your hubby sticks up for you, I mean, its one thing to be diplomatic and not try and create waves in the family, but he should always stick up for you, and trust you.

 

If I had a brother and he put his hand on my wifes hip and she made it known to me, Id just simply tell him to be a little more respectful and to not do that again.

 

I know you were giving one incident and that there is a lot more, but your husband and you should be 1 unit, each other first! and not let others control, manipulate, or stick their noses in your life and come between you two.

 

The attitude is, you are each others No.1, its you against the world. Im not saying you should create a family feud, just that boundries should be set, its your husbands job to defend you with from his family and you from yours.

[charmed]

Hi Sister !

 

I hate my family problems. I'm adopted, but I consider my parents my parents - I've been with them since 6 months. They are great - too great and thats the problem. They try and worry so much about doing a good job, that they totally miss the point sometimes. They are very controlling and have serious issues with me doing things that they can not understand - like staying awake for an entire night for example ! If my problems get any worse I might have to come and see that film with you on the 24th !!

 

But you have a more serious issues. There are games being played and you can also be sure there is a reason that they are being played.

 

Communication I think is the key. If I were you, I'd be laying it on the table to your family members not directly associated with this brother in law. Who is he to do this to you. If he is pushing your family into a position where they do not believe you over him, you will have to push them back to believeing you first. THis will demand some smart thinking and some good clear communication. Though not my traditional advice, but under the circumstances of dirty games, have you considered setting him up? I mean getting him into a situation where you know he will react a certain way even though everyone else would expect him to say he did the opposite. You can prove to everyone after you let him lie to them all, how he is indeed a lier.

 

Hope this helps you some,

[sisterlynch]

actually that does seem like a plan, wait and see if it happens again!

 

If it doesn't and he seems to have forgotten the entire thing, then I will too, but if he brings it up, then I will need a response!

 

I feel that he is jealous of me because he has a lot of kids and I have only one, and I am going to return to college in the next year and he has never been to college.

 

I need to let him know that it isn't ok to hurt me and I won't allow him to do anything negative, and I will go directly to my sister and tell her what he is doing.

 

The weird thing is I think that he thought I was one of his daughters, but even still that is wrong for him to touch his daughter like that too.

 

Thank you all!!

[kuhl282000]

Sounds like you are doing all the right things, however I have learned that you can pick your friend but not your family. Sounds like you should start thinking about building one of your own and forget the idiots. The Movie sounds like a good idea but I'm sure they will still blame you for not attending.

 

Good Luck

 

Warm Regards

 

Kuhl

[sisterlynch]

I have recently come to the conclusion that people are going to discourage me from doing what I want for many reasons as long as I let them, by changing my view of myself or the activity or not going to something because the people make me feel victimized.

 

This always happens to me, although I don't like to admit it. I guess I have been studying "verbal abuse" and I wonder how deep this issue goes with me, if verbal abuse is so much a part of western civilization, can I ever escape it completely?

 

How do others feel on this topic?