behaviour of guys and girls.

[BlueEyedBoy]

It took me a while, i must admit, to realize that a girl can infact talk to/socialise with or even be flirty with a group of guys without having intentions of taking things further. Perhaps some girls just find it easier to connect with guys as friends 'cos they dont tend to be all that complex, its pretty much a case of what you see is what you get?

But do guys understand this kind of behaviour from a girl? do they understand that shes just being friendly or do they instantly assume that 'cos shes being a little flirty that its her way of saying shes interested in them, perhaps different guys read into this in different ways?

Well the girl im talking about is my ex (guess you kinda spotted that one coming) we decided to call things off for the time being so that we could see where our relationship was going, i know it was for the best 'cos we were having probs and i did need to see things from an outsiders point of view. In the last month in her bid to search her feelings she has slept with someone. To be honest finding that out did hurt a great deal but provided that she never gives me the exact details its something i think i can deal with.

The guys i'm talking about are supposidly my friends but sometimes when im in the pub she'll come over to talk to me and then she'll start talking to/being flirty with them. I dont think she has any intentions with them 'cos it seems shes just being fiendly and shes no more flirty with them than she is with me. A couple of weeks ago one of the guys took her number and has been sending her texts since and last night one of the other guys asked him to set her up with him. If she were to take things further with him it's not something that I hugely have a problem with but what has upset and annoyed me is that for the last few weeks this guy could see ive been having a hard time of coping with things. He's been saying helpful things like "you'll be fine mate, these things just take time" and then he goes behind my back and tries to get her to hook up with him.

I just dont know what to make of the whole situation, maybe i should just walk away from her and that group of friends for the time being. I dont know.

I feel so shut out in the cold at times.

[Sweet Sad Soul]

Well I am no expert by no means but I will say that when it comes to affairs of the heart, it is never easy. I am not so sure that you should start avoiding the people you hang out with because in the end you may need them. If she feels that she can do what she wants to do with whomever then maybe you should consider venturing out with someone else as well. I am having a little situation myself that has made me think of what I need to do. I wish I could tell you the magic words to make it all better but I don't know such words. I will say try to be her friend and leave yourself open to meeting someone new. I do know that women can be flirty with men and never mean anything by it but being nice and I have seen where men took it the wrong way. All I can say is good luck to you.

 

It is true that you don't know what you have till it's gone,

but it is also true that sometimes you don't know what your

missing till it arrives.

 

[za3raa69]

well... there r different type of guys and girls... and different type of flirting:s... for exmaple... i flirt in a nice friendly way to be friendly... but other kind of flirting when im interested...

about ur friend? well sorry to say tht but hes an A$s.. wtf! backstabbing u?

and wats up with ur girl... i thought ur just taking some time away from eachother... u musnt only talk to ur friend... but talk to ur girl too... first to know wats gonna happen... second to know bout her flirting attitude and wat she really means... third to know if she really is thinking of hooking up with this A$s of urs... dont just stand there watching life going on... make a pause... ask wats going on... and if ur okay with wats happening then just go on... if not... then do soemthing bout it!!

wish u all the goodluck! tc.. see ya!

[Princess777]

Hello,

Well this must be very hard for you at the moment. I can tell that you are probably pretty jealous but maybe just don't want to admit it? And that is OK - you have every right to feel that way. But try to face the reality that you do not like seeing other guys hitting on her, and if they are friends of yours then, you probably already know that sometimes your best friend can be your worst enemy. My husband even goes so far as to refuse to have any close friends because he says that he knows why they would be friends in the first place - to get in my pants when he is not around. Now I don't think that is necessarily what you need to do or an example of a healthy outlook (but I love him all the same!).... Anyway, my point is that you always have to watch your back.... friends, mates, etc. who are there for you only when you're down are ones that you need to watch out for. (misery loves company thing) It's the friends who are always around, through good and bad, that are true friends, and who support you when you're doing well. I would say they're not really abnormal friends to go after her, it happens all the time and it's unfortunate. If you all spend a lot of time together and you all get to know each other, it's likely to happen unless you happen to be lucky enough to find good enough people who actually respect you and your feelings. Unfortunately it has been my experience in 33 years that these people are very hard to find! I hope you can learn from this experience and move forward with your life.... if it makes you too uncomfortable then you might want to look elsewhere for new friends or something to do, as difficult as it may be, at least until your heart mends.

Princess777