Suddenly it's all so different

[jealous2003]

Ok here's the thing. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year, on and off. We have really good times, and occasionally bad times, but we never argue.

 

Lately we've been having a really good time. It was my 18th birthday last week and we went out, we had a laugh, the sex was great etc. But the last couple of days we've both been quiet, and I've been being "off" with him. Like when he talks about his X girlfrinds I get real jealous and usually I don't say anything coz I know it's not nice for him when I get jealous, and he feels the same, gets jealous if I talk about X boyfriends, but doesn't say anything. But last night I kept shutting him up if he so much as mentioned another girls name, I was twisting his words all night and generally being a bitch.

 

I felt really guilty and knew I was being b*tchy but I didn't apolagise or anything. Occasioally we had a laugh, tickling each other etc, but it was fake on both sides. I felt un-happy and think he was un-happy with me.

 

BUT I knew it would be like that last night because we've seen each other everyday for ages and we're bored, it gets like that for every couple when you spend too much time together, yet I still asked him to come round, I still said yes when he routinely asked me to stay at his. We still had sex. And now I'm at work I miss him. I want to see him tonight even though it would be better if I didn't see him tonight, if I waited until Thursday and gave us a bit of space.

 

So what the hell is wrong with me? I know we need space so why can't I bring myself to not call? Or to say I'm staying in when he calls me? Or to go out with my mates and not just be with him all the time? Suddenly everyday is just the same old shit, just on a different day, and I know it's happening, and it's boring, and I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world, I don't want us to break up, I just want....what do I want???

[buffalosoldier]

Your just getting attatched to him.too much?its hard for me to say. but im going through the same kinda thing at the moment.

just give each other space,at the end of the day it will be for the better its just that the thought of you two being apart is probably just a little daunting at the moment.try to cut down the whole jelousy thing,i know its easier said than done,believe me i know but i doubt your boyfriend would be talking bout his exs just to annoy you.he probably just feels comfortable with you and so assumes you wont mind talking about those sorts of things with him. trust me,the time to worry is when he never talks about exs or other girls,even when prompted,thats when you've gotta worry.-at least he's being open with you about them and not trying to keep it all a big secret.

unfortunately it doesnt really matter what me or anybody else on this forum advises you to do with regard to not seeing him,that is something you will have to figure out on your own.people always told me i shouldnt spend so much time and energy on my bf as i did,and that it would only end in tears,and it did.it takes something to happen,for their to be conflict for you to realise that its not worth trying to be with your partner 24/7.

its great that you like each other that much,but you wanna keep it that way dont you? trust me its better to tyr and keep the relationship as fresh as possible,you dont wanna become one of these really boring couple types who always say 'we' and never 'i'.sorry didnt mean to cause any offence,guess im a bit man hating at the mo.apologies.

just slow things down a bit,you've realised that this may be the problem,so just discreetly deal with it,dont let it turn into a big issue.

good luck

[charmed]

Hi Laura,

 

Sounds like the old routine is setting into your relationship thats all. True, if you see each other every day then there is not much to talk about since you are both living one life. You need to spice up the relationship firstly, and secondly probably talk about this and the effect it is having. Better that you both deal with the situation than one or other trying to take it on alone.

 

So, have a chat, and both of you help yourselves get things back on track !

 

What do you want? You want things to flow on their own and it all to work easily ! It can flow, but a bit of work is always necessary to keep things on track. Remember, communication is paramount. You need to keep each other in the loop to survive.

 

Hope this helps you some,

[Nifty_Swifty1]

I can't say for shore, but I would say you need to be a little more immature… I know that sounds funny, but it's the childish moments that makes life fun. I don't think its that you're too close, I don't think that could ever really happen if you know how to have fun, but I think you just need to take time and just play. I'm not saying break out the dolls and action figures, but do something uncalled for. Last time I felt like that I took my girl and a couple friends out and went human bowling. It was just something strange and childish, but just and hour of goofing off made all the difference. When you start to act like a kid, you start to think like a kid, and take a look at the little kids around you. They have more fun doing the most boring things. The only time your not having fun is when you try to act like an adult. It doesn't sound like it would work, but I've learned from my grandfather. In his 85 years I don't think he's spent a day where him and my grandma didn't do something stupid. Its not all the time, but its enough to make life never get old.