I need help for my situation.

[CP4Life]

First and for most, as I read online to find a way for help, I have found a book called "How to get your ex. back." I hear its the best book out and what I read, I agree. The worse part is, I have no credit card to purchase this book and I'm trying to find anyway there is to read this book because the pain I get everyday is not what I deserve. Feeling this low and sad is not a good thing to do but what is there to do when the person that makes me more happy then ever isn't there with me. As each other's first everything, she is going to be the girl that will always and forever be in my heart and mind. What broke us apart was people around us, not me or her. Yet, she tells me and people she'll give us another chance but its been 2 months. Mainly because of me, I had no experience with a broken heart and I have done the wrong things that pushed her away further and scared her a little. But I have learned a lot and stop those things. Theres been a time were we got closer again but of course, myself has made it bad again so I'm here trying to find a way to make things better and to get out of my hell life. To bring my heart back and have happiness. She is my true happiness, for all I have done, I though she be back sooner because she misses a lot. Now its time for the memories to do their job and let time go by. Each day, I have the pain and right now I'm trying anyway to find my way back with her.

 

So I ask, I have no experience and I read a little on that book, "How to get your ex back." Is there anyone that can help me out and maybe get this book for me? Send it to me, the cheat version or something. I guess I'm desperate because feeling this way is something I hate and I miss every bit of her. I would do anything in life to have her back because I'm hating the pain I get each day. I deserve her more then anyone and she has gave me plenty hope saying we will be back together or she misses us. But I have done stupid things to push her away so I need help to fix that so she can still give me hope. So can anyone give me this book anyway kind of way? Well thank you for any help you give me.

[CP4Life]

Well thank you. I know books or another person can't bring her back but it does give me some knowledge on what to do now and for the future. Its just another source I would like to read on and maybe help my situation a little mroe then what is. My situation would of been better if I didn't make it worse.

 

It is my first broken heart so what I'm experiencing right now is something I never want to feel again. She does give me signs or hope now and then. I have ruined it a couple times by talking about us and pushing her away. I just need to know a way to fix that and what I know now is just to give her space and leave her alone. Let her come to me and talk to me. She has told me many of her family and my family we will have another chance since I or her didn't do anything to break us up. The people around us did. So she has gave me that hope that I crave and at the moment, her family thinks we are dating but we aren't yet. Time should come around when I honestly think I'll have another chance. I just believe in it more then anything and have hope and faith. It might backfire on me but I wish it doesn't.

 

But thank you for the info.

[willow2900]

Hi CP4Life,

 

You mention that your ex might give you a second chance in the future. Ok, what is she doesn't? What if she moves on? What if you meet someone else? What are you doing in the meantime to prepare to be that wonderful boyfriend in a relationship? What are you doing to make yourself the person that you want to be?

 

Picture this: a year down the road, your ex comes to you and says that she would like another chance at a relationship with you. You on the other hand have spent that year obsessing, contemplating, agonizing over the potential for this to happen and have since lost touch with yourself and who you truly are. The person that she cared for, the person that she thinks she wants to have a relationship with isn't there anymore. Instead there is this obsessive, worrying person.

 

You need to take a little time out for you here. This is the time where you find yourself again, doing all the things you love to do, or that you have always wanted to do. For whatever reason you two split and need some time apart. Cherish this time and make it productive for you.

[CP4Life]

Hey Willow2900,

 

Thank you and I see your point clearly. From what people have told me, she wants me to see me happy and me being me. She doesn't want to see me depressed and something I'm not. You just made it more clear for me on what I have to do for myself. I will stand tall now, I will do the things I love to do and still look ahead. But since I'm in love with her so much, while I'm doing the things I want to do for myself, is it still ok to still have hope in the back of my mind to be with her? Is it still ok to have tuns of feelings for her? As I go on with my life being the person I'm supposed to be with no sadness.

 

I need to do the things for myself and be the person who she fell in love with then a person that she might be scared of and worried. I totally agree with you and made it a lot more clear for myself. Thank you and I like the help you give me.

[willow2900]

Of course it's ok to still hope! And it is more than ok to still feel something towards her. That is what makes you human! If you were able to just switch it off in an instant then your feelings weren't as strong as you thought they were.

 

The key here is balance. You need to balance your thoughts of her, and of your hope to be with her, with keeping yourself sane! Let the thoughts go through your mind but try not to let them deter you from living your daily life. Don't let those thoughts stop you from experiencing things that you want to.

 

Don't push your feelings aside as they will just implode later on. Embrace your feelings, all the good and the bad, work through them and then move forward, head high.

[CP4Life]

Ok, thank you. I'm sure I will always have some sort of feelings for her. I want to live the way I want to but thats with her. Even if I can't right now, I will still live head high and do the things I want to do. Just one thing I know I don't want to do is move on, I don't feel like dating or finding someone else because the time hasn't came for that. But I don't want that to come for awhile. I'll just be who I am doing the things I would do and she'll see the person who she fell in love with to bring her a little closer to me.

 

But from what I learned, I'm going to stop the things I have done that has made it worse and pushed her away. Like you said, balance. Just live my life the way it is supposed to be and don't fall down because of what happen. She just needs to see the person who she loves and cares about right? Well I'm going to do what you say and just do it with hoping things will come out right for me. As much as I want her to have a happy, great, wonderful, fun, and safe life...I want to be happy to. But I'm not a selfish kind of person, I love to give more then receive. I'm just going to live life like I'm supposed to with hope. Thanks...

[CP4Life]

How can you be so sweet, so nice, so helpful, so great to a person. Make them feel so great about themselves and fill their life with happiness and joy. I have done so much for her, I'm not like most guys. I'm very reliable, I'm always there for you, I would never hurt her, I'm just so sweet to her. Her family loves me. I have gone beyond to make her happy and I have done so much for her, all I wanted to do was to make her happy and I did just that.

 

I'm her first everything and her first love. I was her best b/f and best relationship she says. She said I'm the most sweetest guy she knew and she knows I would do anything in the world for her. She knows I would be there for her and I'm crazy about her. I just don't get how sweet you can be, how nice and lovely you can be but your the one with the broken heart. Why does it have to be me? I don't want to be selfish but I honestly don't deserve this and many people have told me this. I just don't get it, its not like when she thinks of us, its me hurting her and all this negative stuff. Its all positive and its something most girls would want in a guy. I just done everything I could for her and more then what most guys would do. I did little things that most guys wouldn't do. I was always there with her, I bought her lunch every single day. I always stayed late waiting for her ride, I just did all I could for her. Who she is, is just amazing to me. We have so much in common, she is just like me. We have really unique things in common matter of fact. Its about our parents. Her family loves me, I love her family. My family loves her, she loves my family. There is just no negative things about our relationship and she just wants to think and be free right now.

 

Yeah, its hurt real bad for me but I just know when she wants that feeling again because I think having another person by my side loving me is the best feeling ever and she has gaven me that but she should want that back soon. I just don't want to lose her because not only she is my love, she is truly my best friend. The person I can go to for anything and talk about anything and just be myself. I love everything about her and I don't care about looks because after I lost her, that went away. It was who she was that made me cry and realize I'm truly deep in love with her. I miss her every second of life and miss every bit of her.

 

Well, sorry for talking about that.

I just need to express that I guess.

[DLFresh]

Hey CP4 life -

 

I know what you are going through and have been through it before - it sucks but the advice willow gave is really good - focuus on yourself and establish no contact - give the time to yourself -

 

I know it is hard but I have tried to get girlfriends back or taken them back after they had done me wroing, and it always ends even worse or more heartbreaking - take the time apart and if it is meant to be, she will come back and maybe you can work things out - but it has to be her coming to you, or you will just push her further away - I have had my heart crushed and then met someone new who made me question why I was ever into the girl who broke myy heart - it can happen - you will be fine eventually for sure!!!

[CP4Life]

Hey DLFresh,

 

Thanks, I have made some mistakes after the break up by talking about us quite often (because I had no experience on what to do and what was the best thing to do and I did the wrong thing) which got her annoyed and pushed her away a little further but we did some stuff when we were broken up for her to tell me she misses us more. Theres been times were I don't say a word about us and she calls me quite often talking like we are friends getting closer again but then I blew it again talking about us. I have really realize that is not the way to go so I'm keep my mouth shut about us, I'll let her talk about it.

 

I want to get back on my feet and feel happy again because I don't want to feel this pain no more. I always ask myself, is there another girl like her or better out there because I love everything about her, no joke. I just don't think I could find someone else so amazing like her, what I see in my eyes is incredible and perfect for me. She does everything for me and just makes me happy everyday. Execpt that she broke my heart, I did not like.

 

I'll be fine, I know that day will come but I hope it won't take to long. She has gave me tuns of hope saying we will go back out and her family thinks we are dating again because they love me so much. I'm just not going to talk to her at, not doing anything. Let her do the calling and talking about us. I'll just show her I'm happy and I can go head high. Show her the person she fell in love with and I'm sure from all the stuff that has happen and all the things I've done, she'll come back because she has said she misses us more and I am her first everything. I'll always have hope but I'll go on with my life and the do things I love to do.

 

But honestly, I want her more then anything in life. She is worth every sacrifice and pain. I would do anything for her back but from what I hear, don't show her that. Just show her I'm happy and who I am, the person she loves. Right? I can't wait for that day...but if it doesn't come, I'll be ready for that to.

[fieldstr]

I wanted to read the same ebook, but instead I went to the Library and checked out some books that probably have the same info. They are "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and "Light his fire" (there is an alternative version, "Light her fire").

 

I don't know how effective they will be, as I did not use any of the techniques learned on my ex due to his attitude towards me. Otherwise, I would have tried them. But at least I've learned some great relationship tools for the future.