Well...

[over the fall]

I recently just turned 18. (JUN 11) and I often wonder about love, and relationships and what it'd be like to HAVE a boyfriend. I never have had one. Throughout high school I'd always see girls who had boyfriends and I'd feel so awful about myself. I liked a guy who liked me (for a little while) and was too shy to admit and then when I came out about it, it was too late. I don't know where to meet people, I won't start clge. until January and I don't know how to attract guys. I don't know what guys see when they look at me.

 

I've been through a lot in my life, and for once, I just want to know what it's like to have someone who fully supports me and cares. And believes that I'm the opposite of unattractive.

 

I just don't know WHERE to meet people. And, I'm very shy.

 

Thanks

[friscodj]

Hey over-

 

Your feelings are not uncommon. I've felt like this on-and-off around your age.

 

I can tell you from what I've seen and experienced, two things:

 

1) Unless you lock yourself in a room and board up the windows with no communication with other human beings, either literally, socially, or emotionally, you will have opportunities to date and have serious relationships. And you're going to college?! Lord have mercy, you'll meet a ton of guys! Classes, dorms, on campus, parties, through friends, I guarantee this. You can hold me to that statement too. These are going to be huge years of change and new experience for you. You're in an an enviable position to many people...

 

2) At this point, worry, wonder, forethought, and overthought won't do you any good. LIVE IT UP! Get out there, enjoy your time with your friends, pursuing your hobbies, interests, passions. The inner happiness such pursuits bring will help ease your inhibitions. Don't get wrapped around the axle of believing you need a relationship and become fixated on the notion of being "lonely" or "unhappy" without one. Forget that mess! Don't waste your time making yourself unhappy. Be happy, have fun, live life...

 

You are completely fine and you have your whole life ahead of you. Life for me didn't really begin until after high school. Trust me as much as one Internet stranger can trust another, you'll be fine... image removed

[willow2900]

Hi over the fall.

 

I didn't start dating until I was 19. I didn't get asked out, I was WAY too shy to ask anyone out and until my first boyfriend came around at 19 I felt EXACTLY as you did!

 

Believe me, college is going to be GREAT! You are going to have so, so many experiences to build on. It is going to be such a time for you! I wish I could re-live college in a way; it was great.

 

I met my two best friends in college. I met some other wonderful people who are still a part of my life as well. My advice would be to make sure that you get yourself involved, join clubs and teams and get out there and a part of the social school scene. You will LOVE it, I guarantee!

 

As for you and your self-worth I want you to know that no man will EVER make you feel 100% complete. You have to find that within yourself first. You'll find that when you are happy with yourself, without NEEDING someone to be with you, that you will unconsciously attract many men! Confidence and happiness are key here my dear! And besides, take it from my experience that it is a LOT better being single and in college then attached and in college. Trust me!

 

Enjoy this time; these college years. They only come once and it is a great time of learning in every single facet of your life.

[over the fall]

Thanks for replying!

 

I don't start until January and Im not going to one with dorms. But the thing is, is that - I DO stay at home A lott! I've never had many friends through high school, I was always SO quiet and shy and I find myself regretting that now. I have ONE friend that I'm REALLY close to. Other than that - I'm totally a loner. I don't know where to meet people. I don't know HOW to enjoy life. And another thing - there's this thing called the Graduation Test, and there are 4 portions, I've passed all but the science part. And if I DON'T pass it by JAN. I WON'T be going to clge as soon as I want. And, I feel like I'm in BONDAGE b.c of it. I've been studying the whole summer, and I retake it in late July. It's not because I'm stupid, it's just that - I've ALWAYS struggled in science and it's just always been something difficult for me.

[friscodj]

You're going to pass your test, you're going to do some exploring outside of your comfort zone, try new things, meet people, and find happiness in doing so.

 

This is all totally within your reach. It will take a bit of a leap, it may seem uncomfortable, unnatural, scary, but once you get past that initial mental barrier, you'll see things will work out nicely for you.

 

What do you really enjoy doing, or would like to try? Maybe you and your close friend can help motivate each other.

 

And when you go to college, you'll have a whole world opened up to you...classes, classmates, study group, campus activities, so many options all there if you want to pursue them.

[over the fall]

You're going to pass your test, you're going to do some exploring outside of your comfort zone, try new things, meet people, and find happiness in doing so.

 

This is all totally within your reach. It will take a bit of a leap, it may seem uncomfortable, unnatural, scary, but once you get past that initial mental barrier, you'll see things will work out nicely for you.

 

What do you really enjoy doing, or would like to try? Maybe you and your close friend can help motivate each other.

 

And when you go to college, you'll have a whole world opened up to you...classes, classmates, study group, campus activities, so many options all there if you want to pursue them.

 

 

Thanks for the encouraging words

 

I really enjoy like hanging out with my friend, so I know that meeting others would be a lot of fun. I love music, I'd really love to learn how to play a musical instrument, I love concerts and I love traveling. But your right as scary as it may seem - I'm going to give it my best and do what I can to meet people. And thanks A LOT for the "You're going to pass your test" Because in two more weeks - I'm taking it again, and I am DETERMINED to ace it.

 

 

Thank you.