14 month relationship has ended...

[sspaul]

It's been three weeks since my 14 month relationship has ended and it has been the worst three weeks of my life. My ex has told me not to talk to her and to let her move on and that she wanted me to move on as well. The thing is the reason why we broke up was because she wanted to be friends with her ex boyfriend of 4 years but she wouldnt introduce me to him and I took offence to that. to make a long story short she has been with him everyday since we broke up and she tells me she is just friends. Well last night she had called me while I had a female friend over and she was yelling at me about something stupid that was said but when she heard my friends voice she got very jealous and was asking me questions like are you going out with her or sleeping with her and stuff. I am just confused because I fought for her for three weeks and got regected and now that she sees that I am around another female it seems to bother her alot!. What could this possibly mean? Does it mean that she is not happy and didnt relise how it would make her feel to hear another females voice in my room with me or does it mean that she still cares about me and because I was acting happy on the phone with her that she sees that I can be happy without her. The thing is though all it was was acting I miss this girl so much and I would go back to her in a second but I'm not sure how to do that. I cried to her for three weeks and now I have decided to stop because I feel like she is holding all the cards by seeing me upset. I am wondering if she really wants me out of her life but her jealousy makes me feel like she still cares about me annd I just dont know what to do. I havn't really giving her time to miss me because I am always trying to call her and see me around but I know that all that does is let her know that I am still here. I want her to think that I am moving on and maybe she will come back but it is a scary thing to do because I really love her and I want to show her that. She is a very confused girl and doesnt know what makes her happy she even said to me that"I am trying to be happy whatever that is" I dont know what to do any advice would be great!

Thanks

[in_the_mirror]

i think you should tell her that you do still love her. it is almost impossible to stop loving someone in a that short amount of time. but also tell her that you don't want to waste your time thinking she is going to come back because it isn't fair to you or her. if she got jealous it prolly means she still cares for you. but really if you want to get back with her and you think she will listen to what you have to say you should call or talk to her in person.

[reynder]

One thing for sure - DO NOT KEEP GOING AFTER HER.

I shoudl take my own advice, and I try - but it's always harder when it's your own personal situation.

 

Thing is, Buddy - maybe she is confused, maybe thigns will change - but you constantly calling and trying to be around, not a good way to go. Makes you feel needy - i've been there, done that, you only feel more pathetic for it!

 

The only comfort I can offer is that in time, this will get better - things will be much better and you can look back on this day as simply an experience. Maybe it will be with her, maybe it will be with someone you look at and think "wow - thank God it didn't work out with what's her face". Again - I've been down that road before too - with a woman I was very much in love with for a couple of years and out of nowhere she just ended it. AFter months of fighting and believing her lies, i found out from her best friend who came to me and said "I can't believe she is treating yout he way she is after everythign you have been for her - so I have to tell you the truth" and proceeded to tell me that a month before she broke up with me, she met another guy in residence and they have been together since then. To me - she needed time, space, concentrate on school - wanted nothign ot do with a relationship. Man - she looked me in my eyes, holding my hands as tears ran down my face, and said "I love you, woudl never lie to you, there is nobody else - i dont' want to be with anybody else - i just need to be alone". I said nothign to her that i knew the truth - utnil about 6 months later when she came home for the summer and called me right away - asking ot go to a movie and get together. AFter our movie, we went and talked - where I told her I couldn't pretend with her, that I knew all alogn about ( and a said his name) and that I couldn't be friends with someone I can't even trust. She started to cry, yelling at me to tell her how I found out. I said nothing - drove her home - and as I sat in her driveway and she sat in my car not moving, i put the car in reverse to give her the hint, stopped just before backing out of her driveway and looked at her to get out. She looked at me adn said "good night" and I looked back and said "no - goodbye".

 

Now that, buddy - put me through hell for over a year! This stuff happens - and they say it's for our own good - i just don't know about that! All Ic an say is - after having gone through that - I'm not bothered by it now - iI had the experience and I"m better for having gone through it - and i"m happy that her and I never worked out. Although right now I"m going through a different crazy thign with another woman - wow - you want o hear about that, read my post i made earlier today.

Hang in there - this will get better.

 

Never let them see you hurt - your life goes on, no matter how hard it is to force a smile, do it for your own sake and don't give her the satisfaction that she has that power and control over you!!! There is a time to let your feelings be known, for a woman to see you hurt, to cry - but you'll know when that time is right and this is not it!