is there a such thing as ex's as friends?

[christie]

I just recently broke up with my girlfriend....at first everything was cool i thought, then i think she got really angry at me, so we don't really contact one another anymore. When we do, it's like we are both acting as if everything is lovely in our lives. Is friendship even possible, really.

[DREAM]

To be totally truthful with you…. No

Once you have been with someone as a going out stage. Being friends is always hard cos feelings still exist and that can never be taken away.

 

Me and my ex broke up 5 years ago and ya we still chat but we bUT have other motives in our minds. And its not safe to leave us alone. Cos the comfort and touch feeling you once had will still be there tomorrow and at some point you will miss it. So no.

[shari186]

Hi there. I have never been able to be friends with any ex. I am not sure if it is possible or not, however, what I have found is that there is always one person who still wants the relationship to continue as the other has no more feelings and wants it to be over. thereforeeee, the one still hoping for more will always want more. If you guys had sex then it is possible that you could just be hanging out and all of the suddon you find yourself laying knowing you just had sex with someone that you don't intend on having a relationship with and then it just gets bad. It seems to be a bad circle. However, I do believe you can speak on the phone to see how each is doing every once in a while. But hanging out would do no good in my mind. Hope this helps.

[buffalosoldier]

Possible.but also VERY UNLIKELY.this is unfortunate because most couples usually end up being best friends during the relationship,and it can be hard to let go of that sort of comfort.but at the end of the day no,coz like others have said,feelings are still there somewhere,and you have memories that friends just dont have.and plus it only gets painful when you start hearing about their new love interest. its best not to,the relationship is over and in my experiance it is best to break all ties with them,you only end up either sleeping with them or resenting them coz the two of you arent together any more.im sure there are plenty of other people that you could be friends with that wont break your heart for you.

[eclipse]

I can't say it's not possible to be friends with your ex but I've never been able to do it myself. Once two people have been in a romantic relationship, it's almost impossible to revert back to a friendship because of the difference between just a friendship and the intensity of a romance, you just can't seem to go back. I think it's just better not to contact each other and just go on with your life and meet someone else. If you keep in contact with your ex then it will be harder to lose your feelings for them and you won't truly be happy with the person you are currently with or will be with in the future.

[faeriechyld]

Hello there,

I understand you are curious as to whether or not ex's can be friends.

It is possible, but extremely difficult. As many have stated, feelings can still be there, and unless you ended on friendly terms (also unlikely) then hurt and angry feelings may still be there.

If you would want a friendship to work with your ex, I suggest giving them some time so that they can heal from the break up. And then trying and seeing if things will work out for you.

In my personal experience, I have maintained a purely friendly relationship with one of my ex's and am currently trying to regain a friendship with another ex. It's not easy, but it can work if both parties are willing to try and not get false hope. Which is also extremely difficult.

Best wishes!

[neva_black_n_white]

hey all,

i think im very much the odd one out here because i tend to stay friends with my ex's and in some cases it has even strengthened us (but i dont break up on bad terms too often).

i guess people could look at in several ways, some could see it as youve broken up with someone that you gave your all too, and to become friends or even try would be the most difficult thing as you watch them redevlop relations with other people.

or you could see it as knowing someone through bad and good, being there for them and remaining there.

i dont know theres loads of options.

but i tend to stay friends with most of them and on a honest and open level.

am i weird for being like this?

kel

[flowerchild]

It's really hard to be friends with an ex. I think the longer you were together the less likely you'll be friends. In order to be friends the break up should have been mutual. It's easier to be friends if you were friends before you got together and there are no hurt feelings. Sometimes it can take months before you will be able to talk and conversate as friends. I broke up with my ex a year ago and we still have akward conversations. It would probably work best if you were both moved on. It depends on what your motives are. If she wants to be with you, than there's no chance at friendship until that feeling goes away. If you are strongly physically attracted to her that will also make it difficult.