LDR with a twist...

[indespair]

Hi all...

 

I'm not too sure what category I fall into...is it LDR? or age gap? Well, I guess read on.

 

My BF and I of two years of living together are now in a LDR. He is accross the ocean and only seeable via plane transport. The reason why he left was to accept a job offer which was too good to pass over, so we both agreed it was in our best interests for him to relocate. He did ask me to go with him, but I own a house, have a mortgage, etc. and also just accepted a better paying job myself, so now it becomes even harder for me to just uproot.

 

Anyway, he has been gone now for about 3 weeks...we have kept in touch, but only just barely. I text him about once a day...a call every once in awhile, but I am trying to give him his space so he can do his thing over there without constant interruption . Also, he is staying with his parents at the moment, while he is trying to find an apartment and that too is difficult to navigate for him, for there are deep seated issues between him and his mom's new husband. So...he doesn't text or call very much. Once every other day at the most, and doesnt respond immediately to my text msgs.

 

The other thing is that there is an age gap between us as well. Im 44 and he is 25. Which, in the scheme of things, has not really mattered but now with him gone, makes me worry that maybe he will find someone his own age and want to date. We both made the agreement that this LDR was something we both were gonna take seriously, and that I would fly out to see him whenever I could, and that this was something we both could do for at least a year. Yes, I do love him and am willing to do this! I miss him so much sometimes, it feels like an emptiness that wont subside...but he calls only sporadically here and there and he doesn't emote as much as I do when we talk...like I can't tell if he misses me or not! I know that he enjoys it there though, and does NOT miss where I am now one bit. he sounds like he is enjoying it there, and assimilating quite well, and I am very GLAD..its just that well, he doesn't tell me anything about how hes feeling, whats going on, etc. He is an extremely good-looking guy..and women definitely respond to him.

 

The other thing is the trust factor. A year ago he left for the same place...to work for 2 months...and in that time, he hooked up with a (EX) friend of mine! He then broke up with me to go out with her, and long story short he saw the error of his ways and got back with me.

 

I am struggling with my feelings, trying to decide if I am just jealous because Im not there to be around, or if my feelings have any basis in reality.

Should I be worried? Or do I let it go, and trust that he is going to stay true? Any 25 year old guys out there with an opinion as well? Thanks to all...

[ElektraHere]

I think that the only relationship that can survive an LDR is a very STRONG relationship. Where there is complete trust, honesty, and respect for the other.

 

Reading your post a few things jumped out at me. One is the age difference. I don't have a problem with it at all but he is 25. He still has alot to see, do, and experience. I know that there are relationships where age is not a problem. The other thing that stood out is that he has cheated before. I think this would cause me to worry. He cheated when he was gone for 2 months what will he do now that he is gone for a year?

 

I don't know what will happen between you two? LDR's are a hard thing to do and like I said in the beginning it takes a strong relationship, very strong in order for it to work.

 

Good luck to you. I hope this works out for the best.