olena Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Hi all, I am on my 7 day of completely no contact...I feel really down because for 7 whole days he has not called me or tried to get in touch with me... I am wondering if he has even noticed that I am no longer calling him texting him or even that I am never on MSN... I really don't like weekends...during the week I keep busy at work, go to the gym in the evenings and I have too little time for my self to think things through...the weekends feel as if they are dragging on for ever and ever... Everyday that goes by kills me inside...even at work earlier this week, my director realised that something is up as he left me a voicemail after work to check if I am all right... It feels as if I am waiting for something to happen...a miracle... I can;t believe that after giving all of my love to someone for 6 1/2 years, I now don't even know where he is and if he is allright.... I just can't go on like that, but I can't see a way out of it....if I call, he will once again say that he loves me but needs to be alone for now to figure things out....I wish he would call...even if I don;t pick up the phone I will at least have an indication that I am not forgotten... Olena Link to comment
Master Sasori Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 When a guy says he wants to be alone, you need to leave him alone. This because you can love someone, but you don't own them as a possession, they can decide by there free will to go wherever they want, and with whomever they want to be with by themselves. Of course you realise this , but where does this leave you? Waiting for a miracle. (but i will give you my advice) Do not expect leperchauns to appear and solve your issues, do not wait,Also because no action = no reaction its pointless to wait for a miracle, you should be the dictator of your own life and take the situation in your own hands. Life is too short to wait for other people to have their issues resolved, if i where you id dump him and find a substantial replacement. For the time being, just spend time with your family,friends and loved ones. Maby in the future he will recover from his issues, however you should not wait for that. Link to comment
olena Posted June 2, 2007 Author Share Posted June 2, 2007 Thank you for the reply... People don't purposfully wait for someone to come back...but it is a phase that I suppose everyone on no contact goes through...I know that much... A part of me - a significant part of me- what I was for 6 1/2 years has been lost..I am 27, which means that a quarter of my life was all about him...which makes it extremely difficult to just walk away and start from scratch. Giving up all of my dream, all of my hopes, my self, my heart, my love, everything - and there is not much of me left is there? As far as finding a replacement...what for? I have no more to give at this stage...and nobody deserves that..I am empty and everything seems to be pointless....there is too little to keep me going...work...well I am doing well careerwise...money-well, I will never starve...friends - you see real friends when you need them, and my friends for the time being are very cynical about it... It's as if people expect me to press a button and forget everything about it...As if I cna press a button and stop caring...and fair enough, it's his problems whatever he is going through...but I still care, it still upsets me to know that he is not happy, that it's done this to me, to us... Even not contacting him and giving him what he's asked -'to be alone' is an act of love... As far as directing things...that's what I have always done in my life...because that's my nature...I take control of situations..resolve problems rationally and without emotion...that's what I do for living... But in this case, the only think that I can do, is what I am doing...staying away...DOING NOTHING... Olena Link to comment
JadedStar Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 People don't purposfully wait for someone to come back...but it is a phase that I suppose everyone on no contact goes through...I know that much... YOu are correct. It is easier said than done! You will get thru it but yes it can be miserable! Just continue to stay busy. Is there anything you can line up during the week activity wise to make the weekends more bearable? And you are wise to realize that getting a replacement anytime soon would lead to disaster. You are no where near ready for another relationship and it would be a temporary band aid. It is good for us (even tho it does not feel like it) to tend to our hurts and face the demons vs finding temporary fixes. It is very hard to deal with someone you love just taking time away and not calling us, but we have to tell ourselves that everyone handles things differently. He cuold very well just need space and will be back, or he could have moved on and trying to spare your feelings. Either/or, i would try hard not to just pine away for him and await his return. Even tho if he came back if would make you FEEL great please don't forget that he has the capacity to do this to you, and it could happen again and again. If you ever do have the oppty to take him back GET COUNSELING to try to fix what caused this to happen in the first place. Link to comment
terk2021 Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Olena, I am sorry to hear what you are going through. When someone says they love you, but they need to take a break, there are really 2 ways of looking at it. Take it to heart as that's what they mean, or take it as it's over. When you look at it from a break stand point, especially since the time you have spent together, to me it means he can't workout whatever you 2 are going through together. To me, that's what a relationship is about. I would consider it not a break, but a breakup. I don't want to be harsh, but I gave in to 2 breaks last year because she was the love of my life. Basically, she was asking me to put my life on hold while she figured out what she wanted. Oh, but of course she loved me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and part of me regrets it to this day, but when she asked for the break, I said then go take your break, but I am moving on with my life. If and when you decide that this is what you want, then call me, but at this point, we are not in a relationship. There is so much more behind my story, but I am writing to try and help give you insight and advice based on a similar situation. The worst part is waiting and wondering what's going to happen next. Closure, if only temporary, gives you the opportunity to potentially pursue new things in life. Let him know you are not going to sit and wait for him to make a decision, or even let him put a time line on it. Believe, I followed part of what I wrote above, but because love has such a strong hold over minds, it's hard to go through it. Feel free to send me a private message if you want to hear more. I wish you the best, and I certainly know how you feel. You deserve better. Terk Link to comment
MastersGirl Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 olena, I feel your pain. It's going to take time and you'll experience many emotions, it's perfectly normal. You'll be ok, be strong. Link to comment
sandyv Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Hi Olena, I'm in the same boat your in, and just like you I'm totally heartbroken, my ex came back after 7 months.... told me he loved me, was totally wonderfull, and then he screwed everything up, hell I still don't know why? I miss him, but I can't die over him either, he is out tonite I'm sure, but what am I going to do about it.??... well nothing... I'll just let him be.... he is the loser, cause he will never find someone who loved him as much as I do......... Link to comment
olena Posted June 3, 2007 Author Share Posted June 3, 2007 Thank you for your messages...and a special thank you to terk2021. I am a bit better today as I woke up in a better mood than my mood last night...Day 8 and he still hasn't contacted me...and then it hit me...this is the beginning of the break or the break up... I would rather give him all the time that he wants to figure him self out...I know that sooner or later he will contact me and then I will know... In the meantime, it's best that he does not know what I am up to, and that I don't know what he is up to... Off to the gym now....a bit of jogging will be good for me...it helps me calm down... Olena Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.