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figmentations

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Everything posted by figmentations

  1. figmentations
    Are you ever going to talk to me again? I deserve closure, not the crappy excuse you put up as a way of not saying everything to my face.
  2. figmentations
    It sucks how dependent I am of you. I was showering and I heard I got a text. I thought it was you maybe, since it's late at night and no one sends me messages at this hour. It was a friend. Well.
  3. figmentations
    Day 11 Feeling better but not quite there yet. I get suddenly sad or anxious while I'm doing something, such as being in class or whatnot. I wish she'd get out of my head or finally contact me so I can get the closure I feel I need. Oh well, I'm celebrating once I read two weeks post BU.
  4. figmentations
    Get out of my head. I don't want to think about you anymore. I love you but you broke it off. I wish things had been differently but I want to be happy again, I don't want to cry over you another night.
  5. figmentations
    Day 10 Yesterday was horrible. I was lonely and missed my ex so much. And now I'm sick and I can't go out anywhere. This just sucks massively.
  6. figmentations
    why won't you talk to me? do you hate me now? i feel so alone, i shouldn't have stayed home today by myself.
  7. figmentations
    I wish I could see you. But all I feel inside is emptiness. Sometimes it feels like the feeling of missing you is being replaced by an empty hole. My anxiety spikes at night and I have to take extra medication for it. I wish I knew how you are, why you won't contact me. I thought breaking up was the best decision you made, so why does it seem like you are sad? I wish I'd stop hoping for something to rekindle us. I love you and cry about this everyday. I've been crying for 8 days straight. Nothing makes sense anymore.
  8. figmentations
    Day 8 Feeling a bit better. Realizing I need to cry out all my sadness and be with my closest friends during these times. It's a bad idea to stay home. I was sooo tempted today to break NC but I resisted, thankfully. Can't yet let go of the hope that one day my ex will contact me.
  9. figmentations
    I just want you to get out of my head. I miss you so much and I love you but we can't be together anymore.
  10. figmentations
    Day 7 I feel so bad today. It's officially one week since BU and I feel like crying, I miss her so much and I want to break contact and this is terribly hard. I wish we could be together but it all depends on her and I can't keep hoping like this.
  11. figmentations
    Day 6 I feel so much better. Keeping my distance away from her and showing my love for her via respecting her with her desire to not talk to me makes me feel better about this entire situation. I can at least respect her decision to breakup and for NC. I still cry at night, and find the need to come to this forum to talk to other people, still write in my diary how I love her and wish her the best in her life and sometimes tears will threaten to fall during the day. Thinking of her happiness and holding no hate or resentment toward her also makes me feel "cleaner" (for lack of a better word) and a better future for myself.
  12. figmentations
    Day 5 Well, I broke contact last night. I called my ex last night, in a fit on sadness and missing her A LOT. I felt I needed to know how she was. She didn't answer both time I called so I left a message. No reply. It's more than clear by now that she wants to have no contact with me at all. She even changed her FB name a few hours after my call. So I'm back and firmer than ever with keeping NC. She may approach me but I will not again. I hope I haven't messed up any chances of us talking in the future. I'm not doing NC for reconciliation, I'm doing it to move on and hopefully have the talk I feel we both deserved since she dumped me via Facebook chat. Here's to me!
  13. figmentations
    Day 2 This is so hard. It's not even the fact of not talking, the break she asked of me before we broke up got me some practice in this but I sent her an mail two days ago, a letter I wrote for her wishing her well, telling her that I loved her and that I wished the best for her and that if she wanted to contact me again, she could. But I'm so paranoid that she might have blocked me from her Hotmail account, meaning she never received that email and the email I replied to that she sent me. I wish I wasn't so afraid.
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