willow

I can totally sympathise - see my topic I just started. It's crazy when you are trying to be rational about the situation but your emotional self is crying out for something more. I think it makes us all go a bit blind. There are a lot of good people on this BB with a lot of sense. I think what I may need is a cooling off period away from the temptation... In a month, I'll be back to normal and grounded again. Same for you. I think you may be acting a little impulsively too at the moment. What you can see is just ONE route, not THE route ahead. I would probably take a little time to detach myself and give it time and consideration. Go out with the lads, stay away from the friend. But what do I know, I'm an impulsive emotional jellyfish at them moment!?

I am a married woman, two lovely daughters. Been married 12 years, together even longer. We met at 19, and it's a long time since I kissed another guy. Never mind anything more. He adores me. I love him. He is my best friend and knows me very very well - spookily so. But weird as this may sound, I've never 'fancied' him. He became my lover and friend -such a good friend and a good lover that we eventually married and had children. We had a horrible, horrible time last year when we had been slipping apart, and I had grown cool towards him, and at one point came seriously close to infidelity on a chance occasion away from home. I confessed it to him and we all but faced breakdown. Finally I couldn't bear what I was doing to the family or bear his unhappinness. He told me that if I had sex away from home it would be the end. And I wouldn't get the children. We discussed the scenario 'if a tree falls in a forest and there's no-one there, does it make a sound?', but in the end, I had to swear I would never be unfaithful. We have been trying hard and growing closer again over the past year and making plans for the future. The children are happy, he's happy.......but I still have a lingering desire to taste the forbidden fruit. Does anyone understand what I mean when I say I feel trapped in a loving marriage? Sometimes I feel like I will go crazy with pretending this is all enough. Part of me says that it is a woman's secret gift to herself to be able to give or take of herself as she desires, provided nobody else knows. Part of me also believes that to have an extramarital affair is a thrill I must experience, if only once, before I die. And then of course there's solid reason pulling me back. Can I risk everything? Can I risk blowing to pieces the absolute trust he has built in me? How certain could I ever be of absolute secrecy? The thing is, for the first time 'ever', a man I like at work has actually stepped up and made overtures towards me. He too is married with children and I can only imagine he is entering a mid-life crisis. Everyone at work is so professional, this has never happened to me before. I'm bowled over by his (very discreet) approaches and very very tempted to try it out - just once. I have NO intentions of making this a long term thing - my future is with my husband. But I REALLY fancy this bloke and I know with his family status, and position at work, that he could be trusted to keep schtum. This sounds SO pathetic. I know the rational answer, I'm just so confused. Am I a totally selfish cow? Could I just have even a bit of a snog with this bloke? Help!