ideal87

Day #14. 2 week goal reached! bring it on, week 3!!!

Day #13. 1 more day to my 14 day goal! Woo Hoo! Yet again, one of those days, emotions all over the place. Happy one minute, missing her the next. Was going through some photos on my iPhone earlier and came accross all the pictures we took on our trip to Vegas. That didn't help my cause out. As much as I love and miss her, I have to keep reminding myself that there's a high chance that even if we did get back together, it wouldn't work out due to us being too incompatible, thus causing more heartbreak in the long run. A friend of mine told me earlier "There's a woman in this world that's just perfect for you; once you find her, there's no looking back". For the love of everything that is holy, I hope he's right...Have a good day guys.

Kill the lights I’m fading tonight I don’t wanna be here You got me tongue-tied Losing my mind Every time that you’re near You know it's over, we’re just wasting time In search of happy days you know we’ll never find For love, I fought, I’ve waited All that I had inside, I gave it Tried to believe, in time, I’d save it Sometimes the truth is hard to take There’s nothing to do but walk away, and let go...

Missing you terribly at the moment..it's one of those days where I'd love to hear your voice, but, as I said before, it would just bring me back to square one..getting a terrible feeling that you're with somebody else..I need to focus my mind on something else because those thoughts are just killing me..miss you.

Day #12 Not much to say today, feeling indifferent about it at the moment. Spoke to an old friend earlier that I hadn't talked to in forever so that lifted my spirits a bit. 2 more days until my 2 week goal!

Day #11 Can't believe I've almost reached my goal of 2 weeks. Somebody told me the 2nd week is the hardest, and it most certainly has. Contacting her is so tempting, but nothing good will come out of it if I do. I don't understand life sometimes; a majority of the people on here have been with their ex-SO's for a year, or a few, but we'd only been together for a few months, and I'm feeling the same way they do. Saturday at 7 AM my time will make 2 weeks. I can do this!

When we first met, you felt like you wanted to be with me for the rest of your life, loved me so much that I was considered as a priority, you used to send me those beautiful good morning texts, saying those 3 little words "I love you" in it to start my day off right & now that doesn't even exist..I don't even exist to you anymore..Times change,and so do people..I was there when nobody else was..physically & emotionally. I just wish you loved me when it hurts..remember who was there through it ALL. I don't understand how you could not be in love with me anymore and not have any feelings after everything we've been through and everything I've done for you..it's just not fair

Heard this song earlier, and it made me think of you. So hard not to send you a text with the link to it..so here it goes.. Tritonal- "Sometimes I Wish" Only you took me there To the place where I live still No one else could see me whole But this thing you’ve built with care has been sold Before you I was well Now I’m weak but I need to break this spell Time is not on my side It stands still, it lingers, it just hides Oh, I’m dying and I’m done Nothing here I am done Sometimes I wish I’ve never met you Sometimes I wish I’ve never met you Sometimes I wish I’ve never met you Oh oh oh I would have my heart still I would have my mind still I would have some peace Sometimes I wish I’ve never met you Sometimes I wish I’ve never met you

grr, I'm having one of those moments where nothing would make me happier than hearing the sound of your voice. I wish there was some kind of magic pill I could take that would let me move on. I've had a few girlfriends in my life, loved a couple, but didn't love them the way I loved you. It's ironic how things ended, because when we first got together it was so meant to be. I was seriously convinced I was gonna put a ring on you and spend the rest of my life with you by my side. I often wonder if I cross your mind as much as you cross mine. It's been 10 days since we've last spoken..the longest we've gone without talking since we've known each other. 2 months since I've seen your beautiful face. I miss you, N. I miss our long walks in the park on a Sunday afternoon. I miss making you laugh until you snort. I miss your touch. I miss how you can bring me some light even on my darkest days. Despite what I've found out and how different our goals and aspirations are, I still have feelings for you. Don't know why. Sometimes I wish it was you when my phone would start ringing, other times I wish I never met you because I wouldn't be down like this...well, maybe that's taking it a little too far. We did have some great times and you managed to make me smile. I wonder if you'll call me or come see me when you have to pass through my town next month..my birthday's coming up, do you remember that? I know I should really get a move on with my life especially after our last conversation when you told me you didn't love me anymore and didn't feel the same way I did about you...made me wanna break down and just cry. Maybe that's all I need to do..just break down and let out a good cry...I hope your doing well love....

Day #10 I had a dream about her last night. In my dream, I went to her dads house. Her dad, her mom (her parents have realistically been divorced for at least 20 years now but appeared to be together and happy), and my ex were there. I knocked on the door, walked in, got greeted by a big smile and hug by my ex. We walked into the living room where her parents were sitting. Her mom was thrilled to see me and greeted me with a big smile. Her dad didn't even acknowledge me (which I always got a weird feeling around him, he disliked me for one reason or another, but whatever). We held hands, gave each other a kiss, and walked outside while her mom was cheering and crying tears of joy. No clue in the world what that dream was supposed to mean, but anywho.. Having had that dream, needless to say, she's been running through my mind all day, and it's been up and down. 1 minute, I keep reminding myself as to reasons why I'm better off without her, next minute I'm missing her and wishing we could work things out and have her back in my life. When will this ever end? And on yet another note, the other day, out of pure boredom, I went on link removed and spoke to a psychic for about 5 minutes. I'm usually very skeptical about these types of things, but it's astonishing and creepy at how right on the person I spoke to was. I had basically asked him what his thoughts and feelings were towards me and my ex, and the possibility of reconciliation. He asked us for our names and birthdays, to which I gave him. He started describing traits of her personality, which were to a T. He then said that in her mind, she is moved on, but we still have a "soul connection" which is making it hard for me to move on. He also said he saw us reconciling and speaking to each other in late November. That's the part that creeps the hell out of me because in late November, on the 30th to be exact, her and her sisters will be going to New Orleans to celebrate birthdays. In order to get there, they have to pass through my town....what does everyone think of this?

Day #9 Feeling good about everything today. Work has been keeping my mind occupied and busy. Still, I wonder how she's doing even with all the stuff that's come to light in recent days. Just trying to take it day by day and live life to it's fullest.

Day #8 More and more progress is being made. Today is a new day, and I feel myself getting stronger. I did something earlier tonight that I haven't done in forever---browsed through profiles on a singles site. Not looking for a relationship as we speak, still have A LOT of things I need to fix with myself before I can get with anybody, but it wouldn't hurt to meet new people, make friends, and see what else is out there. who knows? I may end up finding somebody better than my previous ex (as the user above me stated Those slow, sad love songs don't make me sad anymore. Starting to get back to my old self, music and those stupid YouTube videos that I find hilarious are helping me get through this the most. If there's one thing I've learned about this whole NC thing, and life in general, is to just take it 1 day at a time, set short term and long term goals. Yesterdays are gone, tomorrow's the future, you've just gotta worry about what's going on now, otherwise life's just gonna pass you by. Best wishes to everyone else that's doing this challenge and going on the same path I am--you're not alone.

It's been 6 days since we've last spoken--the longest we've gone with no contact since we've known each other. It gives me all kinds of mixed emotions. It makes me somewhat happy because I can feel the wounds finally starting to heal, yet sad at the same time because I miss you, still care about you and I wonder on a daily basis how you're doing. Even though our relationship only lasted a few months, and it's been 2 months since we've broken up, you cross my mind every day, even though you've obviously moved on. There's nothing more I wanna do right now than call you or go see you in person, but I know if I do, it's gonna interrupt the healing process and I'll be back in that dark place, feeling so low that I wouldn't even wish it upon my worst enemy. Hope you're doing well and making progress your schooling.

Day #6 (miscounted on my last post and it was actually day #4,not 5). As days go by, I am starting to really have acceptance that the relationship is over and I can feel these wounds starting to heal. There's times that I want to call her just to see how she's doing, but I know the sound of her voice and the mere fact that she doesn't want me back will just bring me back to square one. It feels awkward as this is the longest we've gone without talking since we met. 6 days down, 24 more to go.

challenge accepted. I'm already at Day #5 of NC, so we'll go from there. I can do this....