Tinkerbell

Who does this guy think he is, juggling you and someone else at the same time? And then he has the nerve to ask for more TIME? He claims his attraction for her isn't physical and that he loves you, yet he hardly spends any time with you and prefers to "work it out" with her? I'm sorry, but the whole thing sounds rather fishy to me. If his actions aren't showing that he cares for you than you shouldn't bother with this guy, it seems as though he hasn't decided which of the two of you he wants yet, since unfortunately he can't have you both at the same time. If I were you, I really wouldn't bother with him, unless of course I was still in love with him, than I would make it clear that he either dedicates himself to me or gets lost, love shouldn't be conditional.

Was she pressing her breasts against your body in a very obvious way, or was it more of a brushing by? If it's the first, than chances are she's very interested in you in a physical way, although it could be more. You must also consider that it could have been an accident, although this is very unlikely if it's happened numerous times. As for the other, eye contact is almost always a good sign, and the looking away afterwards suggests that she's shy. Physical contact generally suggests an attraction, even if she's just touching your arm gently or feeling the material of your shirt.

Is she a virgin? If yes, than that's a pretty good reason for her to wait, there's really no point in remaining a virgin for so long if you're just going to throw it away after a few weeks. That brings me to another question, how old are you guys? If you're adults and she's already had sex than I don't know why it is she doesn't want to have intercourse with you, perhaps she's had bad experiences in the past and she's scared? However, if you two are young (teenaged years) than this is perfectly understandable, so just wait for her until she's ready. I don't think it would be wise to pry and try to find out why it is she's so against it, just be happy with what she's giving you and settle for that.

It seems to me that you've already made up your mind about your relationship going nowhere, so I don't think there would be much of a point in "playing it cool." Had you not added this piece of information I would've suggested that you go with the flow and see if any sparks fly, making sure not to come off too strong in order not to push him away. This person in his life that you do not agree with is female, right? Have they been friends for a very long time or is she new? I would think that if he really loved you he wouldn't keep someone in his life who was interfering with your relationship, but you haven't given me enough details to tell anything for sure.

Anyway, I hope this has helped, and if you'd like to post more about the details of the relationship perhaps I can give you some more advice.

Take care!

Before you cancel on her and hurt her feelings, perhaps you should consider why it is you wanted to take her out for her birthday in the first place. If after reconsidering you are still positive that it's not a good idea, than I suppose you're left with a white lie. Call her up as soon as possible and say that something's come up, a business dinner or something along the lines of that, but make sure to do this now, if you wait until the last second she's going to be certain that you're just blowing her off.

For starters, try using some punctuation next time, you'll get more replies.

When you miss your girlfriend so dearly, instead of focusing on how she could be with you at the moment and how much you want to see her, focus on something else such as reading a book, watching TV, starting a hobby. Think about how glad you'll be the next time you see her rather than dwelling on how you could be with her at the moment.

Go with your gut instinct: If you think he has feelings for you as well, than it's time to make a move before these feelings fade! I wouldn't suggest you come off too strong though as you might scare him away. Perhaps ask him if the two of you can hang out alone one day and make your move then. Look him in the eyes a lot, perhaps touch his arm gingerly as you're talking to him, start off with little things like that. If his reaction is positive than go for it, either go for the gutsy approach and lean in for the kiss or tell him straight out that you have feelings for him.

Good luck!

Hello, and welcome to eNotAlone!

If you love and trust your boyfriend than I don't think you should give up on the relationship just yet. He cannot help the fact that his new job is keeping him extremely occupied, and if he was sincere when he said that nothing was going to change between you two than you should give him some time to get settled at his new job and have things slow down a bit. However, you cannot expect to wait around for him forever, and if this not-speaking-to-him-for-days trend continues for too long than you should definitely speak up and let him know that it's not fair for you to be in a one-way relationship. A long-distance relationship can be fulfilling, but not if you're the only one making an effort.

Hey there,

Boy, that's a lot of questions, but I'll try to answer them as best as I can. I would think that the main reason that teenage-sex is frowned upon is because at such a point in your life you wouldn't be able to live up to your responsibilities as well if your partner should get pregnant. At 15 or 16 you are not ready to be a parent, this should come later on in life when you are settled and financially stable. Another reason would be religion, since some people still believe that sex before marriage is wrong. It all depends on a person's beliefs and whether or not they feel comfortable having intercourse; there really is no set age for it as it all depends on the person. As long as you are safe about it than there shouldn't be a problem.

As for underaged sex being illegal, as far as I know you can only get in trouble with the authorities if one partner is of legal age and the other isn't (For example a 14 year old girl gets caught sleeping with a 19 year old guy) but it may depend on which country you're in. If two 16 year olds were caught in a sexual act I'm pretty sure nothing can happen (as long as it was voluntary)

Personally, I believe that in your teenager years you are much too young to permantly decide whether or not you are homosexual. Some people have a tendency to experience once or twice with a member of the same sex and then BANG, suddenly they claim they are bi or gay. It's better off not to rush into a decision at a point in your life where your hormones are raging and you are rather confused about life in general.

You're correct about the risk of sexually transmitted diseases, whether you're sleeping with a member of the same sex or opposite the risk is still there if you do not protect yourself. I suppose people are spreading these rumors about gay sex being more dangerous as they want to discourage homosexual relationships (Which is rather silly in my mind, if they're gay they're gay and we shouldn't stand in their way)

I'll admit that 8 sexual partners at your age is quite a large number, but I'm not going to start preaching about how you should live your life. Just make sure to be responsible while "spreading your seed"

I hope I've helped!

~Tink

I think there is a difference when the guy is 3 years older because usually their maturity levels are around the same. Personally, at 19 I wouldn't be going out with a 16 year old guy, just because you're at different points in your life and it would probably be difficult to make the relationship work. I say wait until you're older before making a move and stay friends with her for now, however if she's giving you a strong impression that she wants to be more than that, than go for it.

I agree with the two above posts, just tell her that you care for her a great deal and you'd like it if the two of you could be exclusive. Unless she has a fear of commitment I don't see why she would refuse.

Exactly how many years are a few years? If it's 2-3 I don't think that it should be a problem, especially if the both of you are mature adults.

Hmm, you haven't given me enough details for me to be able to tell anything for sure, but usually when a boy teases a girl it's because he has a crush on her. However, if he's downright mean to her than there's a good chance that he really isn't interested.

P.S: Try not to use shorthand for your next posts, it may be deleted as it makes it harder to read.

I agree with all of the above, this definitely isn't a good idea. Besides, he should be able to wait until the two of you can meet up in person, why would you want for him to see your most intimate areas for the first time on a computer screen?

Hey everyone,

I was just wondering which method of birth control has more benefits and less side effects between the pill and the shot (depo provera). Which method have you used and how has it effected you? Although the shot is definitely less of a hassle because you don't have to remember to take it everyday, doctors have now come to the conclusion that it can cause severe osteoporosis (Ugh!)

Personally, I don't believe that it is possible to love someone whom you've never even met in person. So if it were my friend who was claiming to be in love with someone they'd never encountered in person, I'd give them a serious reality check and tell them that they should wait and see what happens in person before they come to such a drastic conclusion.

Now the second question is whether or not she's "playing" him. This whole losing the flight and the passport sounds a bit fishy to me, perhaps her parents never wanted her to go in the first place and she's been lying from the beginning? I suppose he ought to give her the benefit of the doubt, but keep his guard up at the same time to prevent himself from getting hurt.

Hey there, and welcome to eNotalone!

You're certainly right about one thing: There are quite a few people out there with, more or less, the same problem as you. Mind you, it's not something that cannot be solved, so don't lose hope just yet!

Lets start off with the approaching process...It's really all in the attitude, a woman is less likely to chat it up with a stranger who's giving her the creeps as he's drooling over every female in the room, she wants to feel as if she was the one you wanted to talk to, and not just to get into her pants, either.

Why would she want to talk to me? Sure, the girls I know all think I'm 'nice' but a stranger doesn't know me.

If her first impression of you is a generally kind human being, why wouldn't she want to talk to you? The least she could do is give you a few minutes of her time to see if there's any immediate chemistry, and if a woman isn't willing to give you this than she's obviously not worth your time. You're right about another thing, confidence does have a lot to do with it. If you go into a bar expecting to be rejected, chances are that's exactly what will happen.

As for being confined to your home, have you tried an online dating site? Perhaps you're rather skeptical about the idea, but a great deal of people are meeting one another online, and I have heard of great relationships that have started off this way. You may as well give it a try, afterall, you have nothing to lose!

I hope I've helped,

~Tink

OceanEyes, I completely agree with you. I really cannot add anything since you've pretty much stated the way I feel. For another thing, I am rather disgusted with strip clubs and find it degrading, and I do not understand how men think it's perfectly alright to go look at other naked women when they're in a relationship. In my mind, it's as if they're cheating on their partner. Sure, they can give the excuse that they are professionals at what they do, but I don't think my boyfriend would've liked it if I got one of my guy friends to do a sexual dance for me in the nude no matter how much of a "professional" he was at it.

I'd really like to hear more opinions on the subject.

It's great to hear that you've found happiness!

Take care,

~Tink

I think that the best foundation for a romantic relationship is a friendship. However, I wouldn't suggest that you go about dating people whom you've known since you've been in diapers. In general, I think it's a pretty good idea, but it's often seen as rather frightening because there's always the chance of losing that person as a friend if things don't work out.

You're very welcome, take care!

First off I'd like to say how sorry I am that you have to go through such a terrible ordeal. Now as for how you should go about going through it, have you talked to your mother about it? Does she know? How about your father? You must tell an adult whom you trust who can try to put an end to this abuse. If your parents aren't an option, perhaps an old school teacher whom you were close with or an aunt or uncle.

Why don't you just tell them everything you've just told me?

basically I've been going out with her for a month

Woah, by going out with her, do you mean dating her? If so, does her boyfriend know that she's seeing another guy? That's definitely not fair to either of you, especially not to you because you obviously care about her a great deal. You're at one of those peak points in your life, you should be having fun and enjoying every moment, and as wonderful as this girl may be, you cannot be expected to wait around forever until she gets her feelings straight. Let her know that you care for her, but you're not just going to be the person she runs to in times of need, and if she doesn't make a decision than its time for you to move on. Even though this guy is her first love, the point is that if he treats her so badly and she's so unhappy she has no reason to stay with him, and no excuse for playing you like a yoyo on the side.

I know it's hard, but like I said, leave them to deal with their own problems. If their financial problems are affecting you in such a way that you're feeling as though their not satisfying your basic needs (food, shelter, clothing) than you should most definitely talk to them about it, and MAKE them take you seriously. On the other hand, if their financial problems are only to a certain extent and their just not giving you as many things as you'd want, perhaps get a summer job like delivering newspapers. When your parents have really gotten you down for whatever reason, talk to them about it, let them know you're growing up and you'd appreciate it if they'd listen to you and consider the things you tell them. If you approach them in a mature and confident manner they're more likely to consider your views as that of an adolescent rather than those of a child.