StarStainedSoir

humm.........in my opinion, i believe that he may just need some time apart. look and see how much you have grown to realize how petty little fights were and how you think that you look the relationship for granted? maybe he just needed to do the same. men, well men use different excuses to rectify their feelings. sometimes they will use petty excuses to hide their real feelings. are you in college with him now? do you still communicate? how is the rel doing now if so?

Hi. I'm new, i'll get to the point. I have had a horrible past with guys, my past ex of about a year tried to kill me, stalked me, tried to rape me, convinced me it was consentuial (which he didnt' succeede in either) and cheated on me while my mom was in intensive care. there is more, but i dont' want to get very personal or whine. my issue is, i've grown a lot since then, rededicated my life to Christ, and found a great guy. He's sweet, never angry, understanding, and he doesn't even want to kiss yet (its been about 4-5 months) hes amazing, but i'm afraid to love again. i'm so scared of falling in love with him and scared of hurting that i try to find bad in him and stir up fights and contriversiry, to end it but i don't want to, at all i love him i just can't get hurt again. its like this is a rope, with my heart i am pulling at it, and my head is pushing away, as if my life was one big tug-of-war game. i want to love but i push him away with fights and i'll try to find the bad in him all the time, but i can't. why am i doing this? can i get over this? is there anything i can do, bc he's a great thing that happened to me, and i dont' want to let it go, but if i continue on how i am right now, its looking that it may end..............