Need to vent a little, i'm not angry i just need to write this down somewhere, and ENA is the perfect place : )
Day...let me add this up now, I stopped counting a week or so ago
It's day 38 of NC, and I feel quite good in general because I have been working on myself for around 3 weeks now, and I feel like i've actually made some progress in my confidence and my shyness, Id be the first to admit I'm not cured, far from it! But I am happy to be making progress.
Anyway I guess it must be boredom or something, because I was really considering for a while today that I should try to get in touch with my ex, be friends or something just so I can speak to her again. It sucks I suppose to know that I'm still not as far moved on as I want to be , but I don't know what else I can do. I blocked her on facebook etc., we are long distance, opposite ends of the country so very very unlikely we'd run into one another.
I have her mobile number and address and if i wanted to i could always get in touch, but I'm strong enough to keep myself going with the notion that if she wanted me back she will be the one to break nc, as one of my close friends said the night that i broke up with my ex, if i leave her alone and she comes back by myself, then that's the only way i'll know for sure she comes back out of love for me... Oh well, that's kind of a sad thought in a way...if she dosen't come back it is sad i mean, but I know it's for the best : )
Maybe I just need to find something to occupy my time a bit better, i'm gonna try that, if you read this then I hope things work out for you in the best way possible!