Lost with love

It seems that lately my wife has been searching for reasons we are still married and she has been asking really hard but good questions that I cannot answer very well. We do have different interests. ME: Sprots, hunting, fishing..........normal guy things HER: Tanning, running the kids around............... She really does not have any 'interests' and we do not share many interests in common. Other then our children, Family and house. BUT, I want to find something we can do together. She says that would be fake.................... But is it? Or is it only fake if you continue to do thing that you dont like to do because of your partner...........and even if so, does that make it bad? I.E. She tans and I have outwardly condemed it, while secretly wondering what so many people see in it and wanting to try it myself...........but can't because of my past stand on the subject. Well I mentioned it to her the other night that I wanted to started tanning with her and she told me she does not want me to CHANGE. ???????????????????????? Mike

****If left, this can cause a greater problem with you feeling frustrated and resentful. **** I am already there, at least a little. It is confusing. Because I think that the stress from work, home, kids and me is starting to pile up. She has indicated before that she is worried about the way she see and deals (or doesn't deal) with certain parts of her life. She says that she is not like me and does have to have sex. I try to explain to her that sex is a form of communication and if looked at correctly can be very powerful form of communication. I can tell she is fustrated as well, but is not the type of person to seek help. We have gone as far as to look into breast enlargement to make her feel sexier. She ha complex about have very small breast (a small A cup), and wants to feel sexy. LET me tell you, she is plenty sexy............PLENTY. My fear is that we go forward and have this enlargement and it does just what we want.......makes her SEXIER and in turn makes me want to enjoy her/us even more often, but she keeping her deminished sex drive........ Make sense?? lost

.....for the women that come here that suffer from a lower sex drive............ What do you need from you mate? And I am not talking about what can they do to convince you to have sex, but rather what do you want from them in order for you not to feel so pressured? I have been doing as much reading as I could and I have tried everything I can think of that might 'spark' an increasing desire. But it has not help much. Ever since my wife took on a different, more stressful career and then trying to juggle that with home duties, often it leaves her with little time or "WANT" to be intimate. Although she wants me to hold her at night and kiss her good buy every morning................when sex comes into play, she is tired, not in the mood or just rolls over and does seem to enjoy it. I think some of it is stress. Some of it is her personality, she does want to see herself as a sexy person or have others see her that way. Do any of you take medication to deal with low sex drive? Is there such a thing? Lost

Hi, I am a 32 year old man that has been married for 14 years to a wonderful woman. She is everything I want in a woman in every category except one. SEX Let me start from where it all begins. We married young (18) and had our first child at 19. I cant remember complaining about sex back then so it must have been good. We were 18 and new tot he whole sex thing so just having sex was fun and rewarding. But I am at a much higher sex drive then she is and we both admit this. 3 years ago I stepped out on my wife and we were separated for 10 months, both having tried new partners. I feel terrible and very remorseful for having cheated on my wife. She deserves better and since we have gotten back together she has gotten me HEART, MIND & SOUL TOTALLY. There are still rough times but we are both strong and we both love each other. Once we got back together we had sex regularly and it was what sex should be ........fun, exciting and intimate. I look at sex as a way to become closer and gain trust in one another. Here is the problem, lately we ahve been at a stand still in our sex life. In the last month we have had sex 3 times and all three times it was for ME, not us. And you know for most guys that might be alright, but I want more, I want to it to be a bonding, no walls, no anything.........just to be together. So, this morning we got into it a little. She says she does not like her sex drive and that she just does not feel like sex. And hopes that a boob job will make her feel sexier. She tells me that when we first got married she felt that the way to keep me faithful was to give me sex all the time, even if she did not feel like it. But now that I have stepped out on her, there is no use in giving in just to keep me faithful. My wife has nothing to worry about as far as me stepping out, it was a foolish and selfish thing to do and I have to live with the embarrassment, resentment and angry for the rest of my life. SHE should be made, but blames herself for not being 'good enough'. I could never have sex with her again and not stray.................I look at our relationship differently and I look at her differently. The problem is, I am very fustrated at her low sex drive and top that with her being a VERY sexy woman................ Where do we start...............she refuses to seek out help. Thanks Lost