Sadpuppy

Time apart definitely can help. I was in a relationship and didn't know how to handle things. I asked my girlfriend for a break, and no contact, and she reluctantly agreed. After two months, I had time to objectively figure out what I really wanted in my life, without distractions and manipulations, without emotions getting in the way. Sounds like what this man needs. Give him his space.

Thanks for the advice and kind words. I feel like I need to wait until he is gone or I'm just gonna push her more away from me. Once he is gone, then reality is going to hit her, and we can have our talk. I still love her very much, but love is not everything. I've decided that I'm going to go through with my plan(the break up - which will take place in about 3 days), and then the ball is in her court, and I'll no longer be waiting by the phone or the one doing the chasing. I'll be clean of it all finally, and be able to try to go out and have some fun. Then much later down the road if she realizes what she had, maybe we can get back together. If that day never comes, then add another failed relationship that could have been amazing to the pile... I feel like that's my only option right now. My path seems clear, I just hope I have the courage and will to stick with it.

Sorry for the novella guys. Thanks in advance. Me and my girlfriend are very close, and have been together for 4 years. High school sweethearts, practically lived together at college during weekends, etc. Before the summer things were not great, but were going ok. So she goes off to work at a summer camp about 4 hours away...gonna be gone most of the summer. She just graduated from college and needs to do something different. I offer a break, which we have thought about in the past, but she doesn't think it is a good idea at the time. Two months ago she informs me that she feels too tied down, and we break up. I'm not too upset about it because she assures me that its not me or another guy, just that she wants some alone time now. Also, we both feel this is just a break, and definitely not the end. She can't explain everything, but promises to call in a few days to clear things up. The morning after, I check her email for her and empty her junk, as I do every morning. Then I see an email to her closest friend...she never uses email at camp...but made an exception? So it is too tempting.....I read it. Apparently, there is this "very cute, very british guy that is putting the moves on me. I feel so bad about it, but should I"? Two weeks pass without any contact with her. By this time I'm miserable and have 1000 questions in my head. We finally talk and she smooths things out, comforts me. There is a guy, but we're barely more than friends. It is no big deal. Stop being so upset over nothing. Etc. She continues to ignore me and my feelings, even goes so far as to complain that every time we talk now I bring up serious matters, like how badly she is treating me. Annoyed is what she tells her friends she is getting when talking to me. Last week I find out that its all been a big lie. She cheated on me with the guy about a week before the "break". All summer they have been together. She insists they aren't serious, and that she doesnt love him, and I believe her in that regard. Camp is now over, and he is staying at her apartment for one week until he goes back to England. College starts back for me in one week also. We've both wanted a break for some time, and I'm bothered(as anyone would be) but not crushed about her and this guy. But to do things in such a selfish, inconsiderate way, (not to mention the cheating), makes me wonder if she loves me. I know she cares about me deeply, as we are best friends and the most important thing in each others life, and I love her, but wonder if things can ever work out now. My plan is to have a face to face talk after the Brit heads back to his own country, and see if she will fess up. I've decided that regardless of the outcome of that conversation, I'm breaking up with her and telling her I don't want to see her for a long time. So, there's no real answer here, and I think I have things under control, more or less. Just looking for thoughts on the matter, maybe what you would do...etc. Thanks for reading!