Swannee

If you truly love and fancy this girl, and you have already told her so, and she has already told you that she only wants to be friends, then you must respect her decision. If you love this girl, you will want to be the better man, and walk away and be happy for your friendship. I am in a similar situation, I know I love her, I love her so much that I want her to be happy even if I am not part of it. Don't ruin your friendship, find somebody who will give you the same love and respect in return, do not force your love upon her, you will regret it later down the road. Good Luck

Hello, your original post was Aug 25, I am in the same situation with a co-worker, see my post made yesterday, This guy you like a work, I am sure he likes you also, however, you currently have a boyfriend, you seem to have recently come to terms that you don't love him anymore, so if you truly do not see a long term future with your current boyfriend, then you should set your self free from him, give yourself some time to heal, let the guy at work know that you admire him, smile huge big smile's at him, this will get his heart beating quicker for you. The guy at work knows he can't pursue you because you are currently in a relationship. So do what is best for you, make some hard descions, be proactive, you are the only one responcible for your happyness in everything you do in life, never be dependent on any body else for your happyness. Take care Swannee

I told my Co-Worker I have know and became best of friends over a 3 year period that I have more then just friend feeling for her, she said she was flattered and had never given any thought of me as ever being more then friends, I asked her if she did not currently have a boyfriend (2 years) would she be interested in going out, she said she supposed she would, but would not see any point to it, because we don't have a lot in common, the only example she could give is that I like the outdoors and she does not, in the time I had gotten to know her she would talk my ear off hours each day, I would listen and give advice, she admired me and she would smile very big at me, I told her I did not understand, that we talk and get along so well, that we have a lot in common, I told her that if she is not attracted to me, or did not feel the same way that I would just have to settle on being just friends, she said she talked to me so much becasue she needed companionship. I left work letting her know that I would be happy just being friends, she said that that would be fine with her and she did not want things to change, the next day her live-in boyfriend that she is always complaining to me about sent her a dozen red roses at work, now she acts like I don't exist will not even say Hi, my heart is broken why can't she be o.k. just being friends with me. I was sure that our friendship would be strong enough to handle this however she seems more upset and uncomfortable around me then I do around her. What is going on in this womens mind? Please help, send your advise please. Thanks Swannee

Here's the scoop. 4-1/2 Years ago I met a girl at work who recently broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years, she broke it off, he did not want to buy a town home with her, so I imagine he did not want to make a commitment, being that I did not want to be the rebound man, I just wanted to be her friend and get to now her better, she was filled with a lot of anger at the time. I try to replace her negative feeling about her break up with positive ones. In time 1-1/2" years we became very good friends, I liked and grew to respect her very much. On her birthday I gave here a Chocolate Turtles & a C.D. the song on the C.D. was the same as her name she liked it very much and my gifts were appreciated. 2 weeks later I was layed off because off lake of work. She hugged me goodby I called her twice. The last conversation I felt she wanted to get off the phone, so I took that that she was not interested in me so I chalked it all up as a learning exsperience. I never thought I would see her again or was hoping she would miss me enough to call me. She never called. About 2-1/2 years later I was out of work and needed a job so I reapplied and was taken back with the company (family Business), I did not think I would have a problem working with her, I kind a recented the fact that I felt I was rejected. Now she has a new boyfriend that moved in with her who is also out of work. We recently have gone out to lunch together twice, we have the best deep conversation about life, family. I can not stop thinking of her, I think of her day and night, I love her. She is 30 years old, I am 38 years old. She has told her boyfriend that I am her only buddy at work. She has told her boyfriend that she feels bad that she is leaving me behind when she went on vacation. The other day she was telling me about a dramadic expercience she had growing up with her parents, I supported her in telling her that what they did to her was wrong, they use to beat her and say she was bad, and would send her away to be with her grand parents every summer because she was bad, she burst out crying, I wanted to comfort her and hug her, I froze, I was afraid she might even cry harder if I tryed, she said she felt bad for crying in front of me and was embarressed, I told her she was great, I think she wanted to her that and liked it but said nothing. I later dropped her a note in which I wrote that she should not feel bad that she cryed in front of me that it was a natural way for her to express her emotions and feelings with me and that it makes me feels special, I aplogized for not giving her a hug, but that I held back, but that I wanted to, I asked her to give me a big smile, so that I would know she feeling better. she did smile. I went on vacation 1 week before she did, and missed her dearly, I made her a wooden spoon carved by my own hands that I want to give her she likes pasta and I figured that she would think of me when she used it. I have told her in the past that I like her, I have never told her I love her, how does a man tell a girl he works with that he loves her, when she is living with a other man. We are both looking for new jobs, we hate our jobs. so I wanted to tell her once one of us leaves. Should I tell her I love her, I have never held her in my arms or kissed her yet I love her. Your advise is greatly appreciated. Please help.