lizzydarcy

Thank you both for your replies - that helped a lot. I thought the same thing, it's a guy thing - I mean, we always had it in the plan somewhere, I guess I'm just a little more ready than he is. I told him outright that if it's NOT in his plans, that I need to know, and that if it's just a matter of timing, I'm ok with waiting. Heck, this is the same man that took 1 year to say "I love you" - and then he said "well, I have for a long time, you knew that right?" LOL thanks honey I honestly can't tell you how happy this man makes me 99% of the time (let's face it, he's still a man ). I just worry sometimes I'm too emotional, and maybe don't see everything in the most clear cut manner. I appreciate your opinions. *trying to not worry* LizzyDarcy

Hi all, My BF and I have been together for 4.5 years - most extrordinarily happy - and until last night not a complaint in the world. Before we bought our house, we agreed we wanted to get married and have a family at some point, but not in the near future. Last year, we had our first major fight, and decided to stay together and work through it - which took a lot of time and effort, but worked marvelously. When we decided to stick it out, I confirmed that I wanted a marriage and family, and he said that was what he wanted too, and that he had been thinking about it a lot, but since we'd been in a rough spot, decided that was a bad time (I agreed) Last summer we visited his hometown, and when someone asked about it, he said yes we hoped to have a couple of kids, that was what life was about. Here we are 11 months later. I had bad news last night, and asked if we could talk about getting married this year. (By the way, I am 31, he is 30). He said he hadn't really thought about it - and it wasn't that he never wanted to, but right not he didn't plan on it. Now, if I hadn't asked the question, today I'd be as happy as ever - but now I'm heartbroken. When I repeated his words back to him, I mistakenly said it sounded like he never wanted to - and he said that wasn't what he'd said. He said *I* think about it all the time, but he doesn't, and this was springing it on him. Am I crazy to be staying? I mean, I don't plan on having a family until I'm 33-35 anyways, so that's not an issue... How would you read into this? Is he just taking time? I honestly couldn't ask for a more wonderful, loving partner - he's the most amazing person. Am I setting myself up for disappointment for holding on and waiting to see what happens? I told him if he decided that a family was suddenly not what he wanted, I'd need to know that - at which point I think I'd have a terrible decision to make. Thanks for any opinions at all.... sorry it's so long *sob*

Thank you Princess, that does help.... ...it's our 4 year anniversary (dating, not married - a whole other issue there) on Sunday, and I've been really good until today, now I'm all worried and scared again, with no real reason..... think it's time to visit the doctor.....

relax and enjoy! and from a girl's standpoint, maybe a few "yeah, that's nice", or other gentle directions are always helpful - I, for one, am never sure what to do or not do it seems!

Thank you - yeah, I think I just worry that if I missed the "signals" the first time (it really came out of the blue - we'd been in a bit of a funk, but it had been a long winter and I wasn't worried about it)... well, I worry I'm "blind" and wouldn't see it coming again....

Hi, My b/f and I have been together for almost 4 years, living together for most of it (officially and unofficially ) Three months ago we had a big blowup one day - lots was said that wasn't relevant, but you know how fights go. It was the first time I'd seen him so upset. He said he'd been thinking about marriage, and I think he spooked himself. Also, sex had taken a back seat to everything else, and he was really feeling the effects of that - I think he felt less loved.... I asked if he wanted to split up, take some time apart.... and after an hour apart, he came home better than ever, said no, things would be "as good as we make it", and he seemed back to normal. Sex improved greatly, we started communicating again - basically, it shook us out of our rut. Now, the problem is that every little blip on the radar has me spooked. If he's tired and not as talkative, I worry. If he wants some alone time, and it's more than an hour or two, I worry. If he writes an email without the x's and o's on the bottom, I worry. It's retarded! I know it's pretty much in my head, but how do I stop this? It was my birthday last weekend, and he spoiled me rotten. Thoughtful gifts, special activities.... I try to tell myself if something was wrong I'd have seen it there, and it obviously isn't. Am I nuts? If he'd wanted to go, he would have, right? Why am I constantly worried still? Thanks for any insight.....