Sparky1977

You deserve to live.

Dear Mister Rainman, A dear friend of mine killed himself three years ago. I think it was on his third attempt. It worked, but I am pretty sure, he changed his mind in the afterlife, and wished that he had not done such a thing. "such a thing" I act as if it is not an option in this life: you have the option to kill yourself, we all do, some may even say it is euthanasia for the mind. I once had a deep depression, it lasted for about seven years, off and on, at its worst I was sleeping 17 hours a day, at its best I fell in love, (with the friend who killed himself). I never attempted suicide, though I day dreamed about it, and every now and then day dream about it again, I got on meds, and the meds work sometimes and sometimes they don't, I found the craziest most suicidal therapist, who did the one thing all the other therapists could not do, and that was, she made me feel less alone, but... she was crazy, so I do not recommend that route, I even got a masters degree in psychology, though I did not become a therapist. You may be too tired to do anything, but you might want to consider some medicine, it may work, it may not. When I was sleeping 17 hours a day, I found this one book, that helped me you can read it online: you can google it: It is titled: How to Heal Depression by Bloomfield and McWilliams. The two guys who wrote this also suffered intense depression, intense depression is the numbness you are talking about. Some say it feels like a cloud in your head, my cloud was slate gray. I hope this helps. May you one day feel okay. Many blessings to all of you reading this post...