Damn - was right on the verge of clicking "send" containing a loving/sincere email when I realised 2 things.
1: She hasn't been the slightest bit put out during the course of the break up and made any kind/warm heart felt gestures to make me feel any more at ease with the whole thing so why on earth am I about to try and make it easier for her? The answer - probably because I'm trying to make it easier on myself in some twisted way & I'm longing for that one email to be sitting there in my inbox when I next log in so I claw back some self worth - I know, it comes from dealing with the situation like a man and avoiding those situations, especially when I have insisted on no contact. (I'm not interested in recon - simply like to remain a decent guy like I (like to think I) was during the relationship.
No.2: I realised that I'd be letting you guys down by hitting send! That's what clinched it for me. I deleted ever letter by one and felt so much better for not sending it.
Gotta keep going!!!