hi, i hope you are well.
i just want to say that you are a very intelligent person. i understand how you feel and your analology about life and the purpose of life. i hope you find yourself at peace and a better path to life. i hope someone positive may come into your life and share something much greater for you.
best wishes where ever you may be. i joined this forum just to share my thoughts with you.
take care.
jj.