doblersdream

Thanks Al. It's hopefully my last step in exorcising the ghosts of this relationship. Time will tell.....

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I really appreciate everyone's carefully considered replies.

Thanks Mike & Jeff for your replies.

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I could be wrong, but purely from what you've said, it would seem that these cards etc are the last trace of him with his ex. I would suspect that she's given them to him as a way of moving on. Could be he is embarrassed to tell you this out of pride. Pure speculation of course, but that's how i read it.

Hi. Try these ;

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Good luck!

My advice would be to play it by ear for the time being. If she's giving you clear signals, you should give clear signals back. Otherwise, wait until you're professional relationship comes to an end, and then ask her out!

Just because someone is on this site, doesn't make them automatically qualified to answer each person's problem. In my opinion, people should only post a reply if they have something of value to say. Otherwise, say nothing. Don't clutter the site with useless comments. Quality - not quantity!!!

Hi Crinklecat. I think I know where you're coming from. I too have been married and since then have been the needy one in every relationship since. It must be some deep-rooted psychological fear of another failed relationship that causes 'us' to constantly try too hard. I know it's hard (from experience) but we've gotta learn to value ourselves again and not place such importance in being in a relationship. If you need to chat more, add me to your msn list. Take care.

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You should definitely look to these posts for some advice...

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What age are you both?

Take whatever positive things you can from the relationship and move on with those. Leave the rest behind you. You can't change what mistakes you've made, but you can learn never to make them again. Concentrate on looking after yourself. When you feel good about yourself, you'll be better placed to put this all behind you.

Here's a link to an older post that may help you...

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Firstly, what she did was despicable. To not even have the guts to tell you in person shows a total lack of respect. If you have done nothing to deserve this treatment, then hold your head up, and leave her alone. No contact at all. Easier said than done, but the more you pursue her, the further away she'll get. If she loves you and misses you, she'll come back to you. If she does though, make sure that she understands clearly that you'll accept nothing short of total commitment and honesty while you're together. If she doesn't come back, then hopefully by then you'll have found happiness in yourself, outside of the relationship, and come out of it a much stronger person.

Best of luck!!

My (now ex) wife cheated on me 2 years ago, so I know how you feel. If you need to chat on MSN, feel free ;

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God yes! That is a great feeling. You don't get that too often, so enjoy it!!

I know this isn't going to answer all your worries, but you should concentrate less on trying to prove anything to anyone. If you know yourself that you are worth having, that will shine through in your personality. That's the basis of self-confidence.

Because of my low self esteem, I perhaps rely a little too much of my happiness into him, and I probably depend on him a little too much also.

I think you've hit the nail on the head here already. Concentrate on what makes you happy outside the relationship. Things that don't depend on your partner. Then you'll be on the right track.

Oh for goodness sake! Just phone the girl and see what happens. You're never going to know otherwise. If you want anything to happen, you're gonna have to take the chance. Otherwise, forget her.

I agree. Seems pretty despicable what he's doing to you. He's probably getting some twisted kick by doing it. Don't let him. You're just cheating yourself, and delaying the inevitable. Get in control of the situation, while you've still got the chance.

To make things more confusing, another woman has asked me out. That's two in less than a week! I know I shouldn't complain, and that lots of people would love that. Normally I would too, but it's making things more difficult for me. I put the first off by saying I'd maybe call her sometime, but the other is a different story. I'd went with her very briefly just prior to my ex, and she is a great person. Smart, sexy and independently successful. I haven't given her an answer yet. I want to wait and resolve things either way with my ex.

i get the impression that you suspect this girl might be interested in you too. If so, then trust me - go talk to her. I know from experience that it's a nerve racking thing, but the satisfaction and confidence it will give you just by doing it, will be very positive. Best of luck.

To make things more confusing, another woman has asked me out. That's two in less than a week! I know I shouldn't complain, and that lots of people would love that. Normally I would too, but it's making things more difficult for me. I put the first off by saying I'd maybe call her sometime, but the other is a different story. I'd went with her very briefly just prior to my ex, and she is a great person. Smart, sexy and independently successful. I haven't given her an answer yet. I want to wait and resolve things either way with my ex. It wouldn't be fair on anyone if i was to just use this girl as a distraction/ego boost to pass the time, would it?