rainyday

rain man, my analysis of your writing tells me you are thinking too much. life is not that complicated. get a job, make some dough, do whatever you have to do to get out of the house. also you said you are not getting out of house for 2 years. i see this as a problem on your psychology and physical body. when you dont get out, this can cause depression and other malfunctions in your system that you are experiencing. change your environment, and you change your mind and body. it seems to be the answer is in front of you, but you feel the need to discuss suicide, which i think is irrational because the answer is before your nose.