Bionic_Agent

Yes, you quoted me. But you obviously didn't read my post "thoroughly" or address my main point, not even once. Last time I even underlined it for you. You seem more obsessed in proving that physical traits like penis size, hair colour, and so on, are deep and meaningful considerations in a relationship. Anyone who keeps insisting that sounds like one of those argumentative trolls that can never be reasoned with. If I suddenly agree I love your favourite TV show, you'll always find fault, lift something I've said out of context and say I was "comparing apples to oranges." Well, you'd be giving up the chance of a sex life with that person due to your physical preference, which which was my point and proves it. There's nothing nonsensical about it. Racism is a hugely offensive issue and penis size is regarded far less seriously. That is the only difference. My point there was that they're both issues that are skin-deep and have no bearing on a person's worth, which is absolutely true. It's probably best that you don't address it, because no amount of argument will turn a carrot into a turnip. It simply is what it is. I didn't. If you re-read, you'll find I never said anything of a kind. Again, you don't read things thoroughly, even though you insisted you do. I never once said anyone was "clearly shallow," certainly not people who are not ready for deeper aspects of a relationship like love and marriage. I was saying they were more serious issues in a partner than physical attributes like their hair colour, penis size. Do read things properly before responding and don't claim things were said which weren't. It's offensive and you make yourself look foolish.

Sure it is. Penis size is dictated by the same genetic roll of the dice that determines hair colour etc. Dumping someone based on penis size and having a dislike for small penis men is no better than being racist. Of course there's nothing wrong with having preferences. I think we all have them. And picking and choosing your partners based on your preferences is only natural. If you bothered to read my posts properly, you would have realised I was saying that people's feelings are the dividing point where preferences become problematic. Choose men with larger penises if you are happier with one. Just make sure you tread lightly and spare the feelings of the smaller penis men you will exclude along the way. That was my whole point. As for why I was using words like shallow and depth, that is merely putting preferences in their proper perspective. Wanting a partner who wants kids and marriage is clearly deeper and more meaningful than, say, simply wanting a partner with a slim build, blonde hair and a big ... you get the idea. By the way, I'm not saying that's you, just my example. Choosing partners based on appearance and build is no better. It's only easier because you can do it from a distance and don't have to get to know them first. If you have a physical preference for men with larger equipment, that's fine. More than that. it's nothing anyone should feel bad about. But selecting someone based on an attribute that is usually hidden is a problem, eh?? It makes it harder to choose a partner that way. You get all hot and excited when you meet this washboard six-pack hunk who looks phenomenal in his tanktop and sweatpants. But you suddenly find yourself wanting out when his pants hit the floor and his penis looks like an acorn. In such cases, you should dump your suddenly unwanted partner for another reason. Tell them you already have a boyfriend and thought you wanted an affair but have had second thoughts. If they know you socially and know that isn't true, come up with something else. But don't hurt someone because they are too fat, thin, too small downstairs or the wrong colour. That was my point. Have your preferences, but don't let people get hurt because of them. That's when a person goes from merely having a superficial preference to being superficial. Since you haven't actually hurt anyone in your case, I never had a problem with your post. We only seemed to disagree on what is skin-deep and what isn't.

Well, you're not exactly judging him with any sort of depth, so what would you call it? You're judging someone on a strictly physical issue that in the greater scheme has no bearing on their worth as a human being. Consequently, it's superficial whether you're prepared to call it that or not. Like I said earlier, there's nothing wrong with having preferences. They shape our ideas of our perfect partner. The issue I have is when people treat others badly because of those preferences, ie. dumping the small *mod edit* man/fat woman and hurting them. It's how we treat people that reveals what sort of people we are. So it makes sense to judge someone because of a preference. I'd even say it's wise if they are rather cruel individuals. If I knew a man with a particularly small wanger and he was planning to ask out a well-known size queen, I'd advise him against it. But I'd probably invent some other reason to spare his feelings, like telling him she was the town bike or some such. If he insisted on pursuing her, I leave him to it, since you have to let people live their own lives and make their own mistakes. He'd discover for himself that she wasn't worth getting mixed up with when he got laughed out of bed. No, I'm merely being judgmental. And since I'm doing it over deeper issues like someone's behaviour, it's not over superficial. Now go ahead and judge me and call me pedantic ...

Spooky. Maybe he was wondering why his ears were burning so bad ... lol I'm with Jadedstar. I didn't realise this was another case of an old thread being "bumped" by someone who couldn't resist commenting. I was also glad to read that your encounter (so long ago) ended harmlessly. But I stand by my earlier remark. The only similarity between the fat woman/small penis man scenario is that both involve judging people over a superficial body issue. But judging a person by their appearance from afar without them ever being aware is VERY DIFFERENT to getting involved with them then dumping them, causing them heartbreak and possibly damaging their self-confidence.

I never said a persons tastes and preferences were disrespectful. If a person loves big breasts or big penises, it is just their sexual preference. While that in itself isn't disrespectful (merely shallow), it is disrespectful to treat someone badly because of it. For instance, suggesting a woman has a breast enlargement because she isn't presently exciting enough or rejecting a man sexually because it's felt his equipment isn't a certain size. Not a good example. Simply because they haven't dated her to start with. But if they have dated her and gotten her hopes up only to reject her later, it would then be similar. But simply not wanting to date someone to start with is not the same at all. People generally don't date people that turn them off. They don't get them into bed then hurt them by saying "sorry, I can't see you anymore because you're too fat for my liking." Even saying "I prefer someone more slim" is just as bad. It's an issue where there is simply no good way of discussing it without hurting feelings. Since she is contemplating doing the same thing (over the issue of penis size), she should break up with him for other reasons. But she shouldn't reveal the real reason because that would be hurtful and disrespectful.

Never forget that the old adage is true that "small things amuse small minds."

I agree. The only thing worse is when someone bases their sex life and attitude on the size of someone else's wanger. They're so hung up on size that it is their inability to see past it that ruins their sex life, not the actual small {Mod Edit}. Other people have partners with very small {Mod Edit} and love it, or at the very least aren't bothered by it. Why is it such a burning issue that it prompts people to post messages asking for advice on the net? If someone can't help being a closet size queen, they should keep it to themselves. If they let their partner become aware of it, it's insensitive and disrespectful. Their partner is better off without them. Not the other way around.

As many have observed, most women don't seem to get off on intercourse anyway. So there's no need for a woman to go unsatisfied because a man is too quick during intercourse. Being a minute man doesn't actually make a man selfish since he can remedy the situation by finding other ways of satisfying his partner. But he is definitely selfish if he declares sex over when he's finished and doesn't want to reciprocate. And that's just asking for trouble which makes his lack of staying power a real issue when it doesn't need to be.

Great thread and an interesting subject. But it's also one of the least talked-about aspects of growing up, even though it's happening under everyone's noses at high school. My first sexual experiences were all with other males of the same age. Just the usual sleepover situations where porn videos late at night (sometimes with a bit of booze and maybe marijuana) cause high school boys to do things they wouldn't be game enough to do at any other time. From what I can see, there was a lot of it about back then (late 80's and early 90's) and many of the boys were the popular, sporty kind that nobody would suspect. All of them went on to have girlfriends, wives and, in some cases, kids so it never had a detrimental effect on them. In fact, I suspect some of them think back to their wild days in odd moments (i.e. when the wife is too tired and the kids are getting on their nerves) and wish they had buddies like that again for a secret thrill.