brdsong

This is a toughy. It's really hard to make that NC decision, and I know that when it's broken it brings all those feelings to the fore. I've been going through similar myself. But I have a theory, maybe many people here will disagree with, but I'm going to say it anyway. I think a total lack of contact is not necessarily the right way to go. You need to get used to the occasional contact. Because its a fact of life that when a relationship ends it doesn't mean you wont move in the same circles and your paths wont cross, possibly regulary. If you depend on avoiding all contact to help you heal, then incidents like this WILL set you back. I'm no expert, and probably completely wrong, but once you get past the sending twenty desperate texts a day stage, and checking your phone every milli-second, as I do, then the occasional amicalble conversation or text won't feel as damaging. give it time

By 'i'll do the same' i meant I'll let you know what I decide too, not that I'll copy your solution, just to clarify...

ebsmith, obviously, i feel for you. Let me know what you decide to do, and I'll do the same! This is the first thread I've started on this site, infact its the first day I've visited the site, and I'm overhelmed with the advice and support I've received from so many people in just a few hours. It's particulary touching as everyone here is going through their own crisis, they must be, to be here, and they take time to help others. I hope at some point I'll have some good advice or words of encouragement for you lot. Thankyou.

Yeah I have to admit the stomach churning you get from a rollercoaster has gotta be better than the stomach churning I'm feeling - and probably everyone here is feeling at the moment! Thanks again *hug*

Thanks Parsley, for such a quick and considered response. And DN, I desperately wish it could be sorted, but it cant. It's children issues, current ones from previous relationships and future ones, the cant of thing you cant expect anybody to compromise on. It made us miserable for the last few months of our relationship, but when you're missing someone, it's easy for the bad memories and issues to be forgotten.....

I was due to get married in April. "irreconsilable differences". We broke up in November, but we still really love each other and no matter how much time passes the breakup still feels fresh and raw, as if it were yesterday. If it continues like this, I don't know how I'm going to cope when 'The Day' arrives. How will I get through it?

I split up with my fiance in November. Initially it was a mutual seperation due to all the arguments we had started having. But it was me who decided there was no reconciliation possible. I realised that the arguments were my fault, because of issues I had. I love him more than anything in the world, and I know he still loves me too. I'm not going to go into the issues, cos its not fair, but they are mine not his, and he did nothing wrong. Although I know we can never work together I have no idea how I'm going to cope without him. I wish I had an answer to the question "how long till i get over it". Someone suggested it will be when one of us meets someone else. I can't see me with someone else, and I know if I started seeing someone, for some strange reason I'd feel like I was being unfaithful. I would love for him to meet someone, so I know he's happy, but I don't know how I'd cope. It's been three months now and it feels like it was yesterday. We were due to get married in April. I'm dreading that day so much. It's weird, we still speak, it's like instead of going to our best friends as a shoulder to cry on, we use each other, which makes the break up seem so fresh and raw, even though it was three months ago. What a mess. Sorry, I haven't replied to your question, just winged on about my feelings, and clearly not helped at all. I want the pain to be gone too. I want his pain to be gone too, he really doesn't deserve it