anouk85

Thanks for the speedy replies! The thing that really hurts is not that she thinks I might be gay (I can understand why she may wonder), but that she was so upset by the idea. That is where my confusion comes from. How could someone who is supposed to be one of my best friends look at me like that? I know I shouldn't have (and I don't anymore) but at that moment I felt nothing but ashamed. Like I have something to hide. I'm thinking of saying to her when she gets home something to the effect of (in private) 'Your comments on Friday hurt me. To think that your friendship towards me is fickle enough that my sexuality would really make that much of a difference is very disappointing. I don't want to argue or fight I just want you to know that's it is not ok that you speak to me that way.' Is that ok? I mean is it too harsh? I (as Reluctant Rebuilder suggested) do want to keep the peace, we've still got 6 months left on the lease on our house and I don't want to live in a hostile environment. Plus though I'm upset with her I do want to keep her as my friend, we've been though a lot together, I just don't want to be kept around so she has someone to take out her frustrations on. Cheers

I've not made a firm decision on my sexuality, frankly because I'm just not sure. And that's ok – for the time being anyway. Back in April I was having a 'thing' with my room-mate, Beth, it wasn't exactly sexual yet it wasn't exaclty not-sexual - it was complicated. During this time I was looking for a tennis partner and met Anna, who to quote her is 'out, loud and proud'. During the summer Beth went to her home town a few hours away and I stayed on to take a couple summer courses and began to hang out with Anna and a few others as they were also staying. Beth returned in September and said she'd began dating her ex boyfriend again. I was upset but we had drifted over the summer so it didn't hurt as much as it would have if she had started dating him in April. The bottom line of it is we were still really firm friends. On Friday Beth asked my plans for the weekend (she was packing to go and see her BF) and I said I was gonna hang out with Anna and Co on Friday night and then probably the same thing on Saturday. Then she shocked me with saying 'you know people are going to start to think you're a lesbian' so I said 'would that make a difference if I was?' she just looked at me with such contempt and anger in her eyes, I've never seen anything like it and said 'to a lot of people, yeah it will' she turned away from me, walked out of the house and drove off. I don't know what to do. We live together, we have classes together and I don't know what 'to a lot of people, yeah it will' means. I wanted to talk to Anna about it but it's not fair to bring her into it, I'm so confused and Beth will be back here in a few hours and what do I say to her? Or do I just say nothing and ignore it?