ykcir

He certainly does test me to see where I stand. He'll often say and do things to upset me and it takes all my patience to deal with it. I've told him I want to see how long he can keep this up because I know eventually he'll see that I mean what I say. He really is worth the struggle though. I'll keep on fighting.

It seems like her claims of wanting a separation/divorce were a cry for attention. Obviously if she really wanted to split she would have jumped at the chance when you gave it to her. You have told us all her short-comings but what about you. What part have you played in creating such a distant and unsupportive relationship. Have you ever told her how much it would mean to you to have her there when you play? You say that you love her somewhat so maybe this relationship can be saved. You both need to communicate your true feelings to each other because that way at least you can give the other person a chance to change behavior that is unwelcome or to continue to do the things that please each other. Granted, things might not change but until you let your wife know what you want how can she give it to you and vice versa. All marriages go through what you describe but again, I think the tell-tale sign was when you told your wife you wanted a separation too and then her real feelings became apparent. Well, I hope things work out for you.

You're right, we do need counseling. Unfortunately, we are in a very remote area and there is no one available for us to use. That is what makes this even harder. We both would like to seek counseling but it's impossible. I will try to do what you suggested and reassure him that my cheating had nothing to do with him. I guess it is his self-protection instinct which is making him so cold towards me. occasionally, he will thaw and I see the man I married. It is these brief glimpses that keep me going. Thanks again for your advice, I needed it.

I cheated on my husband about 1 1/2 years ago. It was only once and I confessed to my husband about a month later. Now I am pregnant with our first child and all the progress we made seems to have disappeared since I've been pregnant. Even though I do everything in my power to show my husband that I am truly sorry for what I did it seems like it is not enough. I thought our marriage was on the mend and that is why we decided to get pregnant. Sometimes I am so depressed I cry myself to sleep at night. I feel alone and lost. I know this should be one of the happiest times of my life but I can't help feeling miserable. I realize that I am responsible for the way my husband feels but he made a conscious decision to be with me after I told him the truth. I feel like my baby and I deserve so much more. Yet, I really want our marriage to work. He is truly a beautiful man but he is so hurt. How do we get through this???