I'm new here so bear with me folks.
About 5 months ago my girlfriend and I split up, we had known each other for a little more than 3 years and lived together for 2 of those years. My ex girlfriend is a good woman, mother of two and has the "Susie Homemaker" thing down to a "T" she was very good to me and my child as well. When we first started dating she was fairly outgoing and fun to be around but as the relationship went on I began to notice she avoided issues between us and any discussion of feelings, I don't know how to put it to words but I could "feel" that something was wrong.
Before she met me she was married to a man who was mentally abusive to her so I believed that the reason she wasn't talking about things was related to that, after discussing the situation with my family and best friends I tried to get her to open up about things in a neutral fashion, just asking her about her feelings without pressuring her, by the end of the first year living together it was clear this approach wasn't working, by the end of the second year I was depressed and withdrawn and had given up trying to reach her about things (I know, I should have left after the first year but I didn't want to give up).
It might help to understand that I am the kind of guy who talks to those I care about, how they feel and what they need is important to me, like most men I am unable to read minds and I am no good at reading between the lines either.
To make a long story short one day she announced she was leaving, I knew this was coming and I spent the next two hours trying to get her to explain what the problem was all she would say was that "it seems like we don't have anything in common anymore." the following day she called me at work to let me know that her sister and her had moved most of her stuff out of our house, this went on for a few more days until she had her stuff moved, I tried to talk to her a couple more times with no luck, the lady is very non confrontational, I had seen that in her dealings with her ex and with her workplace but missed the connection.
After she moved I sent her a letter to her workplace because she left no forwarding address, this was ignored, a few months later I sent her an e-mail as a last attempt with the same results.
At this point it is important to understand that I am a good man, I am not abusive in any way, I work and pay my debts, I was always faithful to her and good to her kids, I am a biker and I treated her with nothing but respect because that is the way I live. I always tried to balance work with home time as well. I went out of my way to try to get her to talk to me about things even to the point of getting advice from family and friends as to how to approach issues with her, I did this because I loved her and I knew it was going south for us.
5 months have gone by, I can accept that it is over even though I don't know why she made that choice and it's pretty clear she will never explain it to me. That still hurts because I never did her any wrong and I can't understand why she would treat me like that. I have never been in a situation quite like this before, in my past the few people I have been that close to have always been able to talk to me and share at least some of their feelings and reasons for parting ways.
I'm hoping someone out there understands why she did things the way she did and can explain it to me so I can find some peace in this and move on without the extra baggage, I can't understand how you can say you love someone and never try to talk about things that are going wrong.
Sorry for the long read and I hope someone understands all this.
