napinasv

Thanks so much for your replies. I have to go to work now -I'm on the other side of the planet! Hope it won't be too late to get back to you later.

Maybe this is my problem! I don't see the difference. What IS the difference? Why wouldn't you want something that you are attracted to?

You have a valid pont here. But, by 'commitment, do you mean 'resisting temptation'?

Thanks guys! I have to admit that I expected less understanding and more 'get over it' type of stuff. I don't think he is the one midlife crisis. I'm almost sure he would not hook up with a young girl. It's me. I'm the one who finds the fact that "he may find young girls fun to look at" quite disturbing. I don't find young guys 'fun to look at' so I suppose, I can't understand it I had a serious car crash in my late 20s. A year in a hospital and a lifetime of not being able to do simple things other people can do. A few scars outside, not really enough to blame that for me feeling unattractive… He was with me during that time. I know he loves me. As I said, I know this is MY problem, but I simply cannot understand how I can find my son's friends attractive. Do women feel this way too? Do women find younger guys more attractive, no matter how old they are? I'm obviously missing something here, but I still cannot pin point what. And, I'm sorry, but I have to ask: Dako, do you know any real 70 yo woman who you find attractive? I'm not trying to be rude her , but, in the same way I don't find 18 yo attractive, I don't find 70 yo attractive. I must be the only one to feel this way

I know it's hard to put this the right way; whatever I try to say seems to come out wrong… But I'll try anyway… In terms of female attractiveness, younger is always better. Firmer, rounder is always better. Without trying to say that nothing else matters to men, … men will always find younger, firmer, rounder girls better looking. They may CHOOSE to be with someone not as good-looking b/c of their other qualities – but when it comes to sex, but they will always be tempted by cute little things. They may CHOOSE to resist the temptation, but the idea that my beloved hubby of 20 years is TEMPTED by any cute little girl that comes into his vision still bothers me so much! He actually HAS to DO something to prevent himself from acting on his desires! To resist. Resist what? Other woman's body that he finds more desirable than mine? AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY AND GRATEFUL BECAUSE HE MANAGED TO RESIST?! I don't get this. COULD SOMEONE PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE EXPLAIN THAT TO ME? I'm 45 and I don't find 18 year old guys better looking than 50 yo. I can't even look at them 'that way'. They are kids for goodness sake! They are the same age as our son! How could I look at them sexually?! But my husband CAN – I mean he can still find 18 yo girls sexually attractive. He can still find them better looking than me. Ok, I asked him specifically about that, but still… even after a specific question I could not (honestly!) say that 18 yo males are 'better looking'. I guess, I'm venting a bit here… Sorry… I'm 45 and as not as good looking as I used to be…Maybe this is just my middle life crisis… I realise I'm the unreasonable one here for not being able to accept the facts of life. I guess, my question is: next time we see some young, sexy girl around, how can I feel good (or at least not this bad) about the fact that he thinks she has better boobs…or but… or whatever? At the end of the day, he is making a compromise by being with me. Who would not want better-looking woman if he could get one? I apologise to all men if I sounded harsh and not fair. My value system has been so shattered now…

I got married at 25 and expected from my husband to love me and only me, and never to be interested in other women. (I expected the same thing from myself, of course.) But he had always been attracted to other women. He never cheated, but I always knew when he fancied a girl and that wasn’t a pleasant experience for me. I wasn’t always aware of that, but as I’m getting older I’m starting to notice how he looks at young and sexy girls. We are both 45 and when I see him looking at 18 year old, I find it disgusting. Not to mention what it does to my self-esteem. By reading posts on this forum, I started to realise that all men are attracted to other women and it’s just a matter of resisting temptation. I’m wondering, if attraction to other women is so natural for men, why do we expect them to be faithful in the first place? And, if those things don’t have anything to do with us, why don’t we just let them whoever they want? If monogamy is such a myth, why do we still stick with it and make our lives miserable in the process? If monogamy is possible only if they work hard to resist temptation, why do we expect them to do that? I’ve heard so many men saying that women can’t handle the truth (about them being attracted to other women). And so they HAVE TO lie… Why do people try so hard to be monogamous when almost everyone thinks it’s not natural?