eremy

woah horsey...pull back on the reigns a little bit man. You aren't even WITH this girl yet, and already you love everything about her? you don't even KNOW everything about her. Take it one step at a time! And for God's sake show some confidence here! I bet she's a great girl, and I bet she's very lovable too, but what you're doing right now is putting the cart before the horse. Try asking her out on a couple dates, rather than just blurting out how much you like her...she'll get the hint from the dates. Try looking at some of diggity dogs posts...he's got great advice on stuff like this.

whatever happened to looking at the glass half full? Yeah as humans we know we're going to die, big deal...just more reason to live your life to the fullest. I've got a tip for everyone, RELAX...stop taking everything so seriously. Get your business dealt with, then chill. One of the problems is that ya'll think you have to live up to something when in fact you don't. Do what you want to do, when you want to do it...you've really got nothing to lose. Just don't go around hurting people, cause then you get in the way of others doing what they want to do. I don't know, I'm just over everyone complaining about depression and how crappy life is. THAT'S the problem here. We all want to complain, but we don't seem to want to do anything about it.

Yeah, I've got some stuff to say. I think it should be very apparent by now that age is not a factor! Relationships don't work out with kids under 18 just as much as they don't work out with grown adults. No, I'm not ignoring maturity, and how much someone is capable of changing in their younger years...I'm merely stating that to blame somebody's age is not the right course. If anything, blame maturity, compatability...ect.

I would also like to point out that it's stupid to worry about what others think about the situation. You'd be dating her, not everyone else. Yeah, it's unfortunate that people feel the need to poke their nose in other people's business...but in the end it doesn't really matter what they think. So, I'd say give it a shot, maybe it won't work out, maybe it will...at least it's a learning experience. At the end of the day, just go with what your heart tells you, as it sounds like both of you have your heart in the right place, even if your ages aren't. I like to believe that age of consent laws are there to protect young teenagers from sexual predators...NOT people who wish to share a close relationship.

I have the same hang up that hoppy does With what was said

"Not sleeves or dragons or weird crap like that, but a well placed (can be covered by a shirt), clean looking tattoo."

That's a very subjective statement, and I sort of find that insulting...no I'm sure you didn't mean it in that way, I'm just saying. "tattoos done tastefully" means a thousand different things, depending on whose taste you're talking about. I personally love dragons, and think that they make great tattoos. But to me, a great tattoo is merely something that somebody actually put some thought into, something that it meaningful to the person.

I think you should really reconsider this tattoo, especially if you're concerned about whether or not chicks will dig it. someone should only get a tattoo for themselves, because they want one, as it's going to be on you forever, where as that girl who thinks it's hot might only be around for a short time *shrugs*.

I think people look at tattoos the wrong way. It's not a fashion statement or anything like that. This is an art, a respectable one at that. Like I said, this stuff is on you for life, and because of that you really should make sure this is what you want, because you want it, and if something as small as a girl not liking it is going to make you second guess the tat, don't get it.

Heh...I see myself with a similar issue. The gap isn't quite as large, but it's that kind of gap as well, that under/over 18 gap. It does feel weird, and there certainly is some validity to it. At 22 you have a pretty decent mental grounding, while at 16/17 you are very likely to change drastically over the next couple years.

I don't know. Me, I tried to talk myself out of it, knowing the implications and the logical pitfalls. But, when do we ever ask to be attracted to certain people? I think that...as long as your intentions are pure, and your heart is in the right place, there isn't anything wrong with it. I wish you luck though.

This may not go for everyone, but I know after spending a year with my ex attached at the hip, I got pretty tired of being around her all the time and not going out and doing some of the things I like to do that she doesn't. I think it's great that people want to spend every minute of their time together...however I don't think it's healthy to actually DO so.

People need space. It looks like right now you are sort of suffocating her with wanting to talk to her all the time, and she's desperately trying to get some space. Relax, let her have some space. Go hang out with your buddies for a while during these times. I think you're going to find that the harder you try to get at her, the more you'll push her away. Respect her desire for space...whatever she means by it, forcing the issue won't help anything.

Just be careful about how much you "explain your actions". You don't want to get too close to showing all your cards, as diggity said. I understand that you were raised to do what you do, but now a days leaving notes and sending flowers just comes off more creepy than romantic...so it's best to leave that until you're with the person.

"so what? i should just let him be her 21st bday pressie? and my 19th bday pressie being finding out he is with the girl who broke us up?"

Yup. Another girl came between you two, that should tell you something about how much he cares. I'm sorry, soulmates don't get their S/O pregnant and then leave for somebody else, and then continue to cheat with you. This guy's no good. It's hard, but it sounds like you'd be better off without him. I know you care about him and everything, but all he's going to do is break your heart some more if you give him the chance, so don't give him that chance. And how do I define cheating? I define it as common sense...there are too many variables to exactly describe it aside from the obvious sexual interaction

I'm more attracted by "cute" girls than beautiful ones...not sure why though. So in my book cute /is/ beautiful. In the end I just try to pick the word that fits the moment

I love tattoos. I actually plan to be a tattoo artist someday. I like the way they look, and I appreciate the history and the art. However, I think that tattoos should be very well thought over, and not just individually, but as a whole. When I'm covered in them (as I will be when I can afford it) I would like them to all correspond with one another. I dont' want a bunch of random tats that just look like somebody slapped stickers on me. I agree with most of your opinions on the blatently sublimanal or offensive tattoos. I wouldn't call that art on paper, and I won't call that art on skin.

I also agree that you should definitely pay the extra couple hundred, and find a really talented artist. It's on you forever, talk about a great deal. And I would strongly incourage you /not/ to get a tattoo if you are underage, and even worse, get a tattoo from somebody outside of a licensed shop! You are more likely to end up with something crappy, and possibly even a disease like hep or HIV.

I hate looking professional. Don't get me wrong, I love to be clean and look well kept, but I think that a primary focus on "business" attire and that tattoos detract from that is a bit fake. We teach and we teach people not to judge...at least that's what we tell them, but by our actions we show them a difference in opinion. But...I don't want to make anything heated, it's also true that tattoos are becoming more widely accepted in our society, which I think is wonderful.

Oh...and I've often heard that old wrinkley thing too. I just see it as...when I'm old and wrinkley, the last thing on my mind is going to be how I look! you are already old and ugly...no reason to act like the snake is slimey if you catch my drift.

I'd have to disagree about us all being selfish. Yeah we all want to feel good, but selfish is more of a mind frame of trying to simply get your rocks off at the /expense/ of somebody else, not /with/ them. Regardless, I think ya'll need to lighten up and not take life so seriously! Honestly, who knows if she was joking or not? Why should it be such an insult? Truth hurts, I think it's worse to deny you may be a bad lover because you don't like how it sounds. Thankfully this is something you can always improve on. Don't get me wrong, if she was being honest and flaked out, I know there's definitely a better way she could have gone about it.

The best advice I could give you is...don't focus on the what she said so much. Ask her about it, without being accusatory. The most important part of a relationship is communication. If she meant it, and you approach her the right way, she'll admit it and talk to you. Find ways you can improve, try new things. Maybe she was just bored with the same routine and wants to spice things up a bit? who knows, women are strange creatures. But don't let it eat you up inside...it doesn't make you any less of a person, and it's not like you can't improve.

great! good luck with that, and by all means, have fun! I know what you mean, I'm a couple months out of a two year relationship, and since then have really needed to expand my social skills if I hoped to meet new people. But I have nice placement, there are tons of people in her so-cal.

well...not completely random. Spose that would be kind of weird, although a lot of times the purpose of doing something like that is more focused on you becoming more comfortable with talking to people you don't know. But no, pay attention to the surroundings, if you are both in a cafee shop, something tells me you both like cofee. Or just look for other things you may have in common. For me tattoos are a great ice breaker. "hey I notice you have tattoo, who did your work, what made you think of getting it, ect." (I have a tattoo obviously, that helps) lol. And don't always be too worried about meeting people just like you. It helps to have friends that have different tastes, it broadens your horizons, all that kind of stuff.

man o' man...what on earth did they used to do years ago before the days of computers? Oh yeah...they just simply went out and talked to people! I understand it can be a little difficult to meet people. But honestly I don't think it's that hard. If you have a job, great, that's the place to start, talk to your co-workers, go do things with them. I imagine you'd have to go out in public every now and then. Go say hi to somebody you think you'd like to know, introduce yourself, have a conversation. I sometimes think you guys make it more difficult on yourselves then is necessary. (not trying to be mean or offensive) But yeah. Go put yourself in an uncomfortable situation, and make the best of it...eventually it all gets easier.

hey I'll party with ya , though I have to go to Tijuana for the bar hoppin, lol. Not quite 21 yet. Don't worry though, you'll find people to hang out with, just go out and start talking to random people! okay so that's a little extreme...but really, no worries.

That's incredible to hear how you're doing better now. I can't say that I myself have gone through those experiences, but I did once date a girl who's been through similar things. She'd had issues with cutting/violence, ect. While I was with her I remember her complaining about how her medication (I don't remember what she was on) made her quite apethetic. Occasions where she should have felt sadness or anger, she was simply unable to have those feelings. She went off of her medication, with some troubles, but managed to stay off of it. I do still talk to her, and I think she is a much better person now then when she was on her meds. Just thought I'd share a little bit of what I've witnessed. I hope that you can continue to go in the direction you are going!

meh, forget all the what if's. Lets just put it this way. Being alone sucks, but there's not too much you can do about that. The best you can do is try to preoccupy yourself with friends and hobbies, and just hope that somebody comes along that's right for you. Sometimes they come sooner, sometimes they come later, and I'm sure there are rare times when nobody comes at all. But that's just life, it's tough, but that's how it is. Now you can either choose to accept that and keep truckin', or you can kill yourself and definitely be alone forever Personally, I choose the first option, because at least I still have the chance. And anyone who desires to kill themselves because they are alone, knows how important that chance is. So with that. I hope that you don't lose the hope that you will find somebody. It may just be the last thing that keeps ya'll alive.

I know how you feel. Me being a quiet person really messed up my last relationship. But it's just how I am. I can't force a conversation I dont' feel like having. It's good to know I'm not the only one who isn't a chatter box all the time. I know I'd be thankful to have a girl who doesn't talk so much. (not that I mind the other person talking) I just wouldn't be expected to talk much in return. I think it would be nice...though I've never been with somebody like that so I don't know.

physically...everything

Well personally I think the only thing wrong there is that they would tease you about it, I mean, this is the 21s century is it not? Maybe they are jealous, maybe they are insecure, or maybe they are just trying to have fun with you, I dunno, I'm not there. If it bothers you I think you should talk to them about it, as maybe they don't know it gets to you. If nothing gets solved by being an adult about it, maybe take it to somebody a little bit higher up. Some traditional concepts are great, others, such as this silly one that the guy absolutely has to be older is just hogwash. There's nothing wrong with two adults being in love. Lets just leave it at that.

wrong you are not. I'd be flattered.

I love chasing a girl (not literally). Hmm...I don't know about most guys, but I used to have this girl back in high school who had other girls too intimidated to talk to me, and in some weird way, I loved that. Oh yeah...and a girl who inspires me to do the things I already like doing, instead of changing those things.

suppose I didn't answer the question though did I? I think you covered the bases. I've also heard of link removed, might want to try that. But I think you've got such a good start already, might want to just save your money.

My only concern about the online sites is that they are expensive! I don't doubt that you can meet great people on there though. It's just that with my budget, I decided to take my "free" chances with casaul relations...I.E. friends/acquaintences, ect. But yeah, I don't see a problem with it. Another two cents down

Sounds pretty sound diggity. Well I decided not to stress myself on this one. I'm just going to ride things out, flirt, have fun, and see what happens. We already have plans to go surfing (at least attempt to, neither one of us has done it before) So there's really no need to push things or get ahead of myself. I'm not really giving up on tryin, Im just going to focus more on having fun instead of the outcome of it all. Thanks again for all of the advice and opinions. Oh and yes, I will be keeping my options open